Most people think of the rehearsal dinner as a casual prelude to the wedding, a final stop on the journey to your big day. And it can be. But your rehearsal dinner is more than something to check off your list. It gives you and your loved ones time to relax, laugh, and make memories before the whirlwind of the wedding day.

Creating the rehearsal dinner you want, one that is relaxed and memorable for you and your guests, takes some careful thought and planning. We’re not talking about the immense list of detail that come with wedding planning, but still, it’s well worth your time to take a strategic approach to your preparations.

We have some dos and don’ts that can help.

DO SET A SCHEDULE IN ADVANCE

An event schedule will go a long way toward smoothing your evening. With it, you can make sure key elements of the night, from the meal to speeches, aren’t forgotten or rushed.

The schedule also lets your guests, especially your wedding party and immediate family, know what to expect. This can ease nerves and increases the chances of everyone showing up on time and prepared.

Elements to Include in Your Rehearsal Dinner Schedule

·      Arrival and welcome – Allot about 15-30 minutes for guests to arrive, grab drinks, and get settled.

·      Dinner – Set aside around 60-90 minutes for a relaxed meal. This allows time for people to chat and enjoy the food without feeling rushed.

·      Toasts and speeches – Aim for around 15-30 minutes, depending on how many people will be speaking. Try to limit the number of toasts to avoid the event dragging on.

·      Thanks – If you plan to give gifts to the wedding party or parents, add 10-15 minutes to hand out gifts and offer your thanks.

·      Wrap-Up or mingling – Allow for an additional 20-30 minutes at the end for guests to mingle or for you to have one-on-one moments with key guests before everyone heads out.

DON’T INVITE EVERYBODY

Not only should you be strategic about your rehearsal dinner itself, but also about who will be there. The goal is to keep the evening intimate, manageable, and meaningful. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind as you decide who to invite:

·      Immediate family – Typically, your immediate family members—parents, siblings, and sometimes grandparents—should be invited. This is a chance for close relatives to come together in a more relaxed setting before the wedding day.

·      Wedding party members – All members of the wedding party, including bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, and their partners, should be invited. This is especially important since they’ll be involved in the ceremony rehearsal itself, and the dinner allows for a celebration afterward.

·      Out-of-town guests – If you’re expecting out-of-town guests, especially people who have traveled a long distance or arrived early, it’s a thoughtful gesture to invite them to the rehearsal dinner. It gives them an extra opportunity to spend time with you and close family in a more personal environment.

·      Officiant and their partner – The rehearsal dinner provides a chance to offer thanks and strengthen your connection before the wedding day.

·      Close friends not in the wedding party – Depending on your preferences and the size of your rehearsal dinner, you could invite close friends who aren’t part of the wedding party. This is entirely optional but can add a special touch to the evening.

DO SELECT A CONVENIENT VENUE

As with all events, location matters. Here are some venue considerations to keep in mind so you can create an evening that’s enjoyable, comfortable, and reflects your style.

·      Location and convenience – Look for a venue that's close to either the ceremony location—where your rehearsal will take place—or where most guests are staying, especially for out-of-town attendees. Reducing travel time makes it easier for everyone to attend and helps keep the evening stress-free.

·      Guest list size – The venue should comfortably accommodate the number of guests invited. If you’re expecting a large group, event spaces or private dining rooms might be your best choice.

·      Atmosphere and vibe – Think about type of atmosphere you want. Do you envision a casual barbecue, a laid-back dinner at a favorite restaurant, or a more formal event? The venue should match the desired tone of the evening.

·      Menu and dietary preferences – Food is a big part of the evening, so you’ll want a venue that offers a menu you love and that suits their guests. It’s important to consider dietary restrictions and preferences, such as vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, or other special accommodations, when choosing the venue’s catering or restaurant options.

·      Budget –Set a realistic budget for your rehearsal dinner and choose a venue that fits within it. Some venues offer all-inclusive packages that include food, drinks, and space rental, while others may require a separate budget for each aspect. It’s important to factor in costs for things like gratuity and drinks, especially if there’s an open bar.

·      Season and weather – If you’re interested in an outdoor venue, take the season and weather into account. Having a backup plan for unexpected weather changes, such as a tent or indoor option, is key for outdoor rehearsal dinners.

DO PLAN A RELAXED MENU

The focus of your rehearsal dinner should be on offering delicious, crowd-pleasing options without overcomplicating things.

·      Go for familiar, comforting foods – A relaxed menu doesn’t need to be extravagant. Opt for dishes that are familiar, comforting, and universally loved, like pasta, grilled meats, fresh salads, or family-style dishes. Think about meals that make guests feel at home and at ease.

·      Consider family-style or buffet – Serving food family-style or as a buffet is perfect for a relaxed atmosphere. Guests can serve themselves, mingle, and enjoy a variety of dishes without the formality of a plated meal.

·      Incorporate seasonal and local ingredients – Choosing dishes that incorporate seasonal or local ingredients can add freshness and flavor to the meal, even when you’re keeping the menu simple.

·      Keep dietary preferences in mind – Make sure to offer a variety of options to accommodate dietary needs including vegetarian, gluten-free, or other allergen-friendly dishes. You also should provide a mix of proteins, vegetables, and sides that cater to a range of tastes and preferences.

·      Serve crowd-pleasing desserts – For dessert, go with simple, easy-to-eat treats like cookies, pies, cupcakes, or seasonal fruit.

·      Include a signature drink or casual beverage options – Instead of a full bar, which can be overwhelming for a casual event, offer one or two signature cocktails, a selection of beer and wine, or a mocktail for non-drinkers. This keeps things fun without complicating the beverage service.

·      Plan for easy service – Your menu should be easy to serve and eat. Avoid overly messy or complicated dishes that require special cutlery or tricky plating.

DON’T OVERDO THE SPEECHES

The rehearsal dinner is a more casual event, and speeches should reflect that tone. Encourage speakers to keep their remarks brief—around three to five minutes each. This keeps the evening light and prevents the speeches from dragging on too long. Here are some more speech strategies for your rehearsal dinner.

·      Choose the right speakers – Typically, the parents of the bride and groom, the couple themselves, and possibly the best man or maid of honor will give speeches at a rehearsal dinner. You can also invite other close friends or family members if you want, but it’s best to keep the number of speakers manageable. Decide who will speak in advance to avoid any last-minute confusion.

·      Speak from the heart – Rehearsal dinner speeches are more informal than those at the wedding reception, making them the perfect time for heartfelt stories, memories, and expressions of gratitude. Speakers don’t need to prepare anything too formal; a sincere, personal message will resonate the most.

·      Thank key people – The rehearsal dinner is a great time to thank your family, wedding party, and close friends for their love and support. This can be done in a short speech, and it’s also the perfect opportunity to hand out any gifts for the wedding party.

DO COORDINATE REHEARSAL DINNER AND WEDDING DAY PLANS

As you map out the details of your rehearsal dinner, think about how your choices could enhance your wedding experience. First of all, you’ll want to think about the timing of your wedding day events. The rehearsal dinner should end early enough to give everyone plenty of rest. Aim to wrap things up by 9 or 10 p.m., so everyone has time to relax and recharge before the big day. Here are a few more tips:

·      Use the dinner to share announcements – Since your wedding party and close family will be with you at the rehearsal dinner, make sure you’re all on the same page when it comes to wedding day logistics such as arrival times, transportation plans, and special instructions. Also, see if anyone has any questions about the wedding timeline and who’s responsible for what. Taking time to cover these details now will help minimize stress for you and for the people who will play a role in your wedding.

·      Leave room for relaxation – While it’s tempting to use the rehearsal dinner to finalize every detail, it’s also important to relax and enjoy the evening. Carve out time during the dinner to simply be present with your loved ones, share stories, and unwind before the excitement of the wedding day.

·      Avoid overindulging – We hope you enjoy your rehearsal dinner, but at the same time, this is not the night to overindulge in food or alcohol. You want to be in great shape for the main event.

The Bell Tower on 34th, one of Houston’s leading wedding venues with a chapel, is committed to helping recently engaged couples realize their wedding vision.

Our venue, a short drive from downtown Houston, is designed to provide seamless transitions from ceremony to cocktail hour to wedding reception.

Contact us to schedule a visit.

The Bell Tower on 34th

901 W 34th St, Houston, TX 77018

(713) 868-2355