Selecting a Wedding Officiant
One of the most important items on your to-do list, when you’re planning a wedding, is selecting your officiant: the person who conducts your ceremony.
This is the person who, depending on what you’re looking for, can help you prepare to make a lifetime commitment to one another. They can be an invaluable source of guidance and support—and they’ll set the tone for the most important element of your wedding—becoming a married couple.
To help you with the selection process, we’ve put together a list of commonly asked questions about selecting an officiant and our answers.
What is an officiant?
A wedding officiant, also known as a celebrant, is someone who can legally conduct a marriage ceremony. It can be your pastor, a justice of the peace, or your best friend.
What are our ceremony options?
From a big-picture perspective, you can look for an officiant who can conduct a religious ceremony, a secular event, or an interfaith wedding.
You also may want to ask yourselves, if you do want a religious ceremony, if you prefer for it to be traditional or if you’d like to make a few adjustments. And some couples might want help creating a wedding they consider spiritual, but not religious.
Where can we find officiants?
If you don’t have someone specific in mind to conduct your ceremony, try asking married friends and family members if they have recommendations. You also can consult with your venue, your wedding vendors, and your place of worship.
Another option is to use online resources. Here are a few possibilities:
Celebrant Foundation & Institute
How can we research the officiants we’re considering?
We encourage you to ask your prospective officiants for references and, if possible, check online reviews from other couples. The officiant also should provide proof that they meet all local and state requirements for conducting a wedding.
Once you’ve narrowed down your choices, see if the officiants can provide videos of them conducting marriage ceremonies. Do they seem confident? Are you comfortable with their style and their abilities as a speaker?
In the end, one of the best ways to make a final choice is to interview your final candidates. That will help you get a feel for each other and determine if the officiant is a good fit for the wedding ceremony you want.
Some possible questions to ask include:
Do you have any restrictions we should know about?
Do you offer/require pre-wedding counseling or classes?
Can we read your ceremony script? Will you let us make any changes?
How do you feel about couples writing their own vows?
Are there any songs or readings you include in your ceremonies?
How long, on average, are your ceremonies?
Tell us about one of your favorite ceremonies.
Tell us about one of your least favorite ceremonies.
How much should we expect to pay?
In the U.S., the average cost for officiating services is $300, according to WeddingWire.
Religious officiants may not have a set fee, but generally, you should plan to make a donation of $100-$300.
Keep in mind, not only are you paying someone to help you exchange vows, but also for their preparations—ideally they’ll get to know you and be able to conduct a ceremony that is meaningful to you and your partner. What’s more, they will most likely participate in, and even run, your wedding rehearsal.
You also are paying for your officiant’s travel expenses and for the officiant to make sure your marriage license is properly completed, signed, and submitted.
What if we want a friend to conduct the ceremony?
Increasing numbers of people are asking friends or family members to marry them. Some find the idea of being married by someone close to them comforting; others feel it will make their ceremony more meaningful.
Keep in mind, a friend or family member will add emotional impact to your ceremony—but their lack of officiating experience may be evident, too.
If you want to go this route, we encourage you to go beyond asking if they’re willing to conduct your ceremony.
Consider asking:
-If they anticipate any scheduling conflicts or something that could come up to force them to cancel at the last minute.
-If they feel comfortable speaking in front of crowds, including other close friends and family members.
-If you can cover their costs to become an officiant.
If they don’t feel comfortable accepting your invitation, accept their decision gracefully. It’s a serious commitment.
If they say yes, and they need to get ordained to conduct wedding ceremonies, there are a number of sites where they can get ordained, including:
When do we need to make a final decision?
Try to have your officiant lined up at least seven months before your wedding.
What can we do to ensure a positive experience?
Make time for you and your officiant to get to know each other.
While the number of conversations you have is not set in stone, it is important to clearly communicate your hopes for the ceremony. And, to help your officiant get to know you, we recommend sharing stories about how you met and fell in love.
Ultimately, you and your partner should both feel comfortable with the person who conducts your ceremony. You want someone focused on creating the experience you want, someone who’s in your corner. We hope these answers help you find that person.
The Bell Tower on 34th is one of the leading modern wedding venues in Houston and the surrounding area.
Contact us to learn how our venue and staff can help you create an unforgettable event.