Typically, when people imagine their dream wedding, they envision a ceremony where they say their vows, surrounded by their wedding party, and then float happily down the aisle amid beaming family and friends to the sound of wedding bells. Immediately afterward, it’s off to the reception, with the promise of food, drink, festivities, and fun!
It’s a pretty safe bet to assume this traditional wedding day combo is here to stay, but, like with many time-honored traditions, there are always those who like to shake things up! For those folks, the option to throw a reception-only wedding celebration is an option worth considering.
But before we launch into the hows of pulling off the delayed big bash (or small reception) to celebrate your marriage, here are a few reasons why having guests at a marriage celebration instead of a wedding may be right for you and your partner.
-You’re looking to elope but want to celebrate with friends and family later.
-You need/want to get married in a hurry.
-You desire an intimate wedding ceremony but want an unforgettable night with a rollicking, large-scale celebration (and possibly a cocktail hour).
-You’re hosting a destination wedding reception for guests but want to be married in your local church/mosque/synagogue or another house of worship.
-You married during the height of the pandemic with no bridal party and few or no guests, and now you want to celebrate on a larger scale
-You want to invite children to the reception but fear they will disrupt a solemn ceremony.
-You want to follow up a small ceremony with a surprise wedding.
When you opt for a reception-only celebration, the focus shifts to creating an unforgettable evening of festivities without the formalities of a traditional ceremony. Plus, reception-only celebrations can give you the flexibility to tailor your event to your preferences and budget. You can prioritize elements like food, entertainment, and decor to create a memorable experience for your guests without the constraints of a traditional wedding timeline.
How to plan a Reception
Just like a traditional wedding, a reception-only event calls for careful planning and consideration, often months in advance.
Here are a few items to consider as you figure out how to host a wedding reception.
Budget. The first item on your to-do list is to set your budget. A good rule of thumb is to keep your wedding venue and food costs to approximately 18-20% of your budget while allotting 10-15% to photos and/or video, and perhaps 10-12% for vendors and service providers, from your florist to a wedding planner. Of course, you have to budget for invitations, wedding cake, and other reception essentials. And remember to include 5% for those extras that will inevitably pop up.
Find your location early in the planning process. As you begin to Google “venues near me,” “affordable wedding venues,” or “banquet halls near me,” narrow your search to places that can accommodate the number of guests you have in mind and your budget.
Ask each potential reception venue about fees, its contract requirements, and how it can support your vision for your wedding reception. Consider locations convenient to your out-of-town guests.
Maybe you’d like to work in some kind of small (non-wedding) ceremony that celebrates your new lives together. One option is a unity ceremony, also known as a sand ceremony. During unity ceremonies, two people pour sand from separate vessels into a central vessel. It’s a picture of two lives that have come together. If you’d like to try this and are looking for unique unity ceremony ideas, try using sand from a beach you visited together (maybe, if you’ve already had your wedding ceremony, you can use sand from your honeymoon). Or select vessels that are family heirlooms or have meaning to the two of you. You also can select a vessel that belonged to a late loved one you’d like to honor.
Set a date, make a guest list, and choose your venue. When making these decisions, consider the schedules of your most important guests like parents, grandparents, and best friends.
If you’re planning a reception-only wedding, you will need to give careful thought to invitations. If you ask anyone to join you for your ceremony, they should be invited to your reception. But, you’ll also need a list of people you’d like at your reception.
Be clear that the invitation is for a reception, not a ceremony. One way to word it is, “You are invited to a reception in celebration of the marriage of…” Another option is, “Mr. and Mrs. Michael Smith and Mr. and Mrs. James Castle invite you to a reception celebrating the marriage of their children, Elizabeth Ann and Thomas Paul,” on …”
As for your wedding venue, be sure you’re completely up to speed on what the facility offers a reception vs. a ceremony, as well as their catering services, their policies, and their services.
Price, select, and book your vendors. While sticking to your budget is the first consideration when choosing who to work with on your reception, make sure to view or sample prospective vendors’ work. And ask for and follow up with referrals. Word of mouth is often the best judge of quality service. Be sure to get quotes from at least two or three vendors for each needed service.
Send out invitations in a timely manner. Two months before your event is a good timetable to keep to. Another thing to consider here is the wording. Though these invitations will be similar to those that invite people to weddings that include both ceremony and reception, it’s smart to expressly state that you are hosting a reception to celebrate your marriage, just so people know exactly what to expect. We also advise making invitees aware of the dress code, as they may be unsure, particularly if you have a theme.
Decide what you and your honey will wear. Re-wearing your ceremony attire is fine, but the choice is up to you. Whatever the case, make sure your expectations for your guests’ dress attire fit with what you and your spouse are wearing.
Decide whether or not to have a registry/or accept gifts. Some people may fret that it’s rude to expect guests to bring a gift if they’re only invited to the reception, but these fears may be baseless. After all, presents to celebrate a marriage can be given at any time, and, considering you’re likely treating your guests to a meal, drinks, and entertainment, it’s not outside of the bounds of etiquette to share your registry. However, if you still aren’t sure, leave that information off of the invitations and simply tell people if they ask.
Once you’ve made up your mind to hold separate wedding ceremonies and receptions, it’s important to let people know, particularly if they will only be invited to the reception. Explain why you’re making your decision and that you’re thrilled to celebrate with them when the time for the big bash comes.
However, if someone seems a bit hurt that they’re not invited to both events, stand your ground and reiterate your reasons and why it’s best for everyone involved, then move on. Loved ones will understand, but be sure to make it up to them with a great party!
The Bell Tower on 34th, an intimate wedding venue in Houston, TX, is committed to helping recently engaged couples make their wedding visions a reality.
Our venue, with customizable packages, is a short drive from The Woodlands, TX.
Contact us to discuss holding your reception here.
The Bell Tower on 34th
901 W 34th St, Houston, TX 77018
(713) 868-2355