The first dance at your wedding : a symbol of your love story beginning a new chapter. It's a whirlwind of emotions, a tender embrace shared under the soft glow of celebration. But amidst the magic, there's often a hint of anxiety: Will we step on each other's toes? Will we trip? Will we look awkward?
Here's what you should know: Your first dance doesn't have to be a source of anxiety. With some preparation and guidance, it can be a moment of pure joy and connection. This blog is here to help. We have advice and encouragement for every step of the way.
ORIGINS IN EUROPEAN ARISTOCRACY
Today, the first dance is a deeply rooted wedding tradition, right alongside cutting the wedding cake and tossing the bridal bouquet. But compared to some wedding traditions (Wedding rings, for example, date back to ancient history) the first dance is a relatively recent addition.
The first dance originated from formal balls in Europe, where it was a symbol of social hierarchy and elegance. The hosts or the highest-ranking guests traditionally opened the ball with the first dance, often a formal waltz or another courtly dance.
This custom eventually trickled down to wedding celebrations, where the bride and groom would take on the role of the hosts, opening the dance floor to symbolize the start of the party. By the 19th century, the first dance became an established part of Western wedding traditions. The bride and groom began the reception by sharing a dance, marking one of their first official acts as a married couple.
Over time, the first dance also became a symbol of the couple’s bond and their journey into married life together. It represented their unity and the new chapter they were beginning.
And, of course, it’s a truly romantic moment. In modern weddings, the first dance is considered a highlight of the evening, when the couple gets to share an intimate moment before their guests.
WHAT TO EXPECT
Generally, the first dance takes place after the formalities of the wedding ceremony and dinner, often serving as the opening event of the wedding reception. It usually happens once the guests have been seated or just after dinner, and it signals the start of the celebration and dancing for everyone. Some couples may choose to follow the first dance with other traditions like the parent dances or a general invitation for guests to join the dance floor. Depending on your preferences, your first dance can be a quiet, intimate moment or an energetic, choreographed routine that sets the tone for the night.
Below, we’ll go into more detail about your first dance and what you can do to make sure you remember it for all of the right reasons.
CHOOSE A SONG THAT REFLECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIP
One of the best ways to set the stage for a meaningful first dance is to select a song that holds special meaning for both of you. It could be the song you first danced to, a tune that was playing when you met, or one with lyrics that speak to your love story. It doesn’t have to be a traditional love song, as long as it feels right for your unique relationship.
Consider the Tempo and Dance Style
As you go through song possibilities, think about what type of dance you’re comfortable with. If you’re planning a slow, romantic dance, a ballad or soft love song with a gentle tempo might be best. If you want something more energetic or choreographed, look for a song with a faster beat that allows for more dynamic movement. Make sure the song is danceable and fits your style as a couple.
Pay Attention to the Lyrics
Listen closely to the lyrics before making your final decision. While some songs may sound romantic, their lyrics might tell a different story. Take The Police’s “Every Breath You Take.” Essentially, it’s about stalking, but it went on to become a highly popular wedding song.
Choose a song with lyrics that resonate with your relationship or a sentiment you want to express on your wedding day.
Keep Timing in Mind
The length of the song matters. You don’t want your first dance to drag on, so aim to select a song that’s around two to three minutes long. If you’ve fallen in love with a longer song, you can always ask your DJ or band to play a shorter version or fade out at a specific point.
Think About Your Guests
While the first dance is primarily for you, it’s also part of the entertainment for your guests. Choose a song that you love but that your guests will enjoy watching you dance to. If you’re opting for something very obscure or unique, it might help to share the story behind the song in your reception program or have the DJ give a brief introduction.
CHOOSING THE RIGHT DANCE STYLE
Just like your song, it’s important to pick a dance style that feels natural to you as a couple. Whether you envision a classic waltz, a slow romantic sway, or a fun choreographed routine, the key is to select a dance style that reflects your personality and comfort level.
If you’re both seasoned dancers, you might want to go all out with an intricate performance, but if dancing isn’t your strong suit, a simple slow dance can be just as special.
Ultimately, it’s about creating a moment that’s meaningful and enjoyable for you both.
LEARNING YOUR DANCE
Once you’ve selected a song and a dance style, practice will be key to making your first dance a success (not necessarily perfect, but relaxed and enjoyable).
Give yourselves plenty of time to practice by starting early—at least a few months before your wedding. The earlier you start, the more comfortable you'll be on the big day.
Consider Taking Dance Lessons
If you’re unsure about your dance skills or want to add some flair, dance lessons can be a fun way to learn. Many dance studios offer wedding dance packages, and instructors can tailor a routine to your song and skill level. Even just a few lessons can help you feel more confident and polished.
Practice Together in Your Wedding Shoes
Your practice sessions will be much more helpful if you wear shoes similar to what you’ll be wearing on your wedding day. This will help you adjust to dancing in formal shoes and avoid any surprises with comfort or balance.
Practice in Similar Space
If you can, practice in a space that’s similar in size to your wedding venue. This will give you a better sense of how much space you’ll have to move around in and help you plan any turns or steps with ease.
Keep it Simple
If dancing makes you nervous, remember that simplicity is key. You don’t need to perform a complicated routine—often, a simple slow dance with a few basic moves is just as beautiful. Focus on moves that make you feel comfortable and confident.
OVERCOMING NERVES AND STAGE FRIGHT
It’s completely natural to feel anxious about dancing in front of an audience. One of the best ways to calm your nerves is to focus on your partner rather than the crowd. After all, the first dance is a personal moment between the two of you. Maintain eye contact, smile, and enjoy the experience together. Shifting your focus to your connection can help you forget about everyone watching. Here are some more strategies that can help:
Practice, Practice, Practice
We may have brought this up once or twice, but practicing can be a powerful antidote to stage fright. Practicing together regularly builds muscle memory, so on the day of your wedding, the steps will come naturally. If you know your routine well, you’ll have one less thing to worry about.
Take Deep Breaths
If you feel anxious before stepping onto the dance floor, take a few deep breaths to calm your mind. Deep breathing can slow your heart rate and ease tension, helping you relax before and during the dance.
Keep a Sense of Humor
Embrace the fact that you might make a mistake, and that’s OK! Laughing off small mishaps or missteps can take the pressure off and make the moment more fun. Guests won’t mind if everything isn’t perfect, and your ability to go with the flow will make the experience more enjoyable.
Don’t Strive for Perfection
Repeat this to yourself: Your guests are there to celebrate with you, not to judge your dancing skills.
Rather than focusing on getting every step right, think of the dance as a way to share a special moment with your partner. What matters most is that you’re enjoying yourselves, not performing a flawless routine.
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