Since it was posted more than six years ago, a YouTube video of two women transforming a medley of well-known songs into a show-stopping wedding toast has been watched more than 4 million times and liked by more than 30,000 viewers.

We have no doubt that the music and humor in this video contributed to its long-standing YouTube success, but for us, it’s the love and genuine happiness for the bride and groom that make this wedding day toast endearing. For those of you who’ve been asked to make a toast at a close friend or family member’s wedding, those are the emotions we’d encourage you to express when it’s time to wish the bride and groom a happy future.

Great wedding toasts aren’t necessarily perfect — or candidates for YouTube. They’re heartfelt. 

Beyond that, if you put some thought into your presentation, and practice a bit, chances are great that your message will be cherished long after the wedding.

We have some tips that can help create a killer wedding speech, from common missteps to avoid to best practices to aim for.

Don’t wing It. You might be thinking, I’m a “go with the flow” kind of person. It’s worked for me so far. Why stop now? 

Our answer is, sure, you might be able to improvise successfully. But, then again, you might forget to include something important (some impromptu speakers even neglect to mention the bride and groom) or, even worse, accidentally say something that will embarrass or hurt someone. Why take that risk?

As Debby Mayne wrote for The Spruce, “Remember that once you say something, you can't ‘unsay’ it.”

Don’t assume you have to be funny. Yes, humor can be a great way to connect with your audience, and you’ll find plenty of “how to deliver a speech” and “funniest wedding toasts” articles that suggest opening with a joke is the way to go. But delivering funny wedding toasts doesn’t come easily to everyone. Poorly delivered jokes can remove the focus of your speech from the bride and groom and place it squarely on you — and not in a good way. So, if you don’t feel comfortable telling jokes, skip them.

If you do want to include a joke or two, don’t make them at someone else’s expense. Scoring a few laughs isn’t remotely worth creating bad feelings. The best wedding toasts aren’t about the speaker; they’re about adding to the joy of the day. 

Here’s one more tip on humor from speaking coach AmondaRose Igoe. “One big mistake I see over and over is when an individual announces when they are getting ready to tell a joke or a funny story,” Igoe said. “They start a joke by saying ‘Here is a funny story,’ or ‘A funny thing happened when I …’ The challenge is when someone announces it is going to be funny, they have set themselves up for potential failure. Unless the joke or the funny story is absolutely hysterical and leaves everyone rolling on the floor, it will make you look bad.”

Instead, Igoe suggested, if you have a great story, just tell it. If people laugh, great. If not, no one will know it was supposed to be funny.

Don’t bring politics or other potentially divisive topics into your speech. This always has been a good rule of thumb, and in today’s world, it’s more important than ever. Alienating others is a great way to ruin a celebration.

Do cover the basics. Generally, wedding toasts should include:

-A brief introduction: explain who you are. If you’re a friend of the bride or groom (or both), mention how long you’ve known them and how you became friends (without divulging overly personal details).

-Congratulations and well wishes for the newlyweds. (Be sure to speak to both of them.)

-A raised glass and toast at the end.

Do devote time to research. It wouldn’t hurt to look up wedding toast speech examples to get a feel for effective speaking techniques.

Don’t let online speech videos intimidate you. Yes, we started this article with an example of an over-the-top speech, but don’t feel you need to break out in song, perform a dance, or recite a poem to deliver a successful wedding speech. The videos you find when you Google “amazing wedding speeches” or “unique wedding toasts” aren’t meant to be instructional, and they won’t necessarily leave the newlyweds feeling warm and fuzzy. Again, the bride and groom should be the focus of the day.

Do have a theme. You’ll need a main point to transform your speech from a collection of random thoughts to a cohesive, engaging presentation. Your theme can be simple, from your favorite memories of the bride to how the bride and groom complement one another.

Do incorporate a story or two into the speech. When giving wedding speeches, stories help support your main points and evoke positive emotions. Just remember to select your anecdotes carefully. Sweet and funny stories are perfect, but just like your jokes, stories should never be embarrassing or hurtful.

Do put yourself in the audience members' position. As you write your speech, ask yourself if it will make sense to wedding guests who don’t know the bride or groom well. What will people need to know to understand your stories? Are there details that need to be clarified? 

Do keep the speech’s length in check. If the couple doesn’t give you a time limit, generally, three to five minutes is ideal for wedding toasts.

Do practice and time your speech. And, try to recruit someone you trust, someone willing to provide honest feedback, to be your test audience. If a joke is falling flat or something is confusing, you’ll have a chance to fine-tune your presentation.

Do ask the bride and groom if there are any topics you should avoid. You may find the story about how your little sister rode a laundry basket down the staircase at age 7 entertaining, but she may be less than enthusiastic about sharing it with her wedding guests. Or…maybe you’re privy to big news (like an upcoming move) that the couple will want to share when they feel the timing is right. Respect their wishes, and keep that information to yourself.

Don’t worry. The idea of taking the microphone in a wedding venue ballroom packed with people can be daunting, but you’ve got this.

Ultimately, delivering a successful wedding toast is very doable. Don’t worry about dazzling your audience or delivering the perfect wedding speech. Talk about what the bride and groom mean to you. Tell them why you’re happy for them. In the end, the newlyweds will remember your words fondly.