Octavio Guillen and Adriana Martinez just might be the king and queen of long engagements. The lovebirds were 15 when they got engaged in Mexico City in 1902, and they were 82 when, after decades of postponements, they exchanged wedding vows in 1969,
While few engagements last quite as long, generally any span longer than 18 months between the proposal and wedding date is considered long. And for many couples, a leisurely walk to the altar makes sense. In some cases, it’s necessary because of career or education goals, financial concerns, or family and friends’ schedules. Sometimes it's necessary for planning destination weddings or managing life events like health issues.
The good news is that long engagements can be beneficial. They allow couples to strengthen their relationship, take their time with important decisions, and save for the wedding they truly want.
No matter how long your engagement, you can still enjoy a smooth, enjoyable planning process. Here, you’ll find some strategies and tips to ease your way.
EMBRACE THE TIME YOU HAVE
I understand that some long engagements arise from challenging life situations or intense work demands. However, as much as possible, I encourage you to focus on enjoying this unique period of your relationship. Use the time to plan fun, non-wedding activities that help you stay connected. Even simple things like going on spontaneous weekend getaways or starting a new hobby together will create lasting memories and strengthen your bond.
It’s also wise, even if you know you have a long engagement ahead, to discuss your wedding vision early. Use the extra time to have meaningful conversations about what each of you envisions for the big day—and beyond—without feeling rushed. Taking the time to align your goals now will make your planning process smoother and much more enjoyable.
SET A REALISTIC BUDGET
Whether you’re getting married in six months, six years, or something in between, one of your first planning tasks will be to figure out how much you have to spend.
The plus side of a long engagement? More time to save for those larger wedding expenses like your venue, catering, and photography. You can also save for something extra special, like videography, a designer dress, or a luxury honeymoon.
As you budget, plan for the unexpected. It’s always a good idea to have a buffer in place, just in case vendor prices increase or you decide to upgrade certain elements of your wedding closer to the big day.
Your engagement period is also the perfect time to set yourselves up for good financial health after the wedding. If possible, make an extra effort to pay off debts or build up a post-wedding savings account.
AVOID PROCRASTINATION: CREATE A TIMELINE
Wedding planning during a long engagement can be a bit of a balancing act. While some tasks, like booking your florist or finalizing your guest list, may need to wait until closer to the big day (because availability or RSVPs may change), other steps should be tackled early to avoid stress down the road.
Start your planning process by creating a timeline that breaks down such key milestones as setting a date, finding a venue, building your guest list, and researching vendors. Talk about how you’ll share these tasks to lighten the load and keep things moving forward.
To stay on track, schedule monthly or quarterly check-ins to review your progress, discuss next steps, and adjust the timeline as needed.
RESEARCH AND BOOK VENDORS EARLY
Many couples will tell you that finding the right vendors—the professionals who bring your wedding day to life—can be one of the most time-consuming aspects of planning.
With a long engagement, you have the advantage of time, so use it wisely. Thoroughly research vendors, compare reviews, and take the time to negotiate for the best deals. This will not only help you make informed decisions but can also save you money.
Another benefit of a longer timeline is the chance to build a strong rapport with your vendors after booking. Use this time to communicate your vision clearly and make sure they understand the details that matter most to you.
Pro tip: Lock in your wedding date as early as possible. Popular vendors and venues often book up months or even years in advance, so secure the ones you want before their calendars fill up.
KEEP YOUR GUESTS INFORMED
One of the keys to successful wedding planning is keeping your guests’ needs in mind. If you're planning a long engagement, it’s important to give your guests a heads up so they won’t wonder about the timeline or worry about making last-minute plans. This is especially helpful for out-of-town friends and family who will need plenty of time to arrange travel.
Send save-the-dates early—typically six to eight months before the wedding for local celebrations, or eight to twelve months in advance for destination weddings or if many guests will be traveling. If you’d like, you can even send them four to six weeks after your engagement, so your guests have plenty of time to plan.
I’d also consider setting up a wedding website where guests can easily check for details and updates as your plans come together.
MANAGING WEDDING-PLANNING BURNOUT
Wedding planning fatigue is real. Even though a long engagement gives you more time to plan, it also means you’ll be immersed in wedding details for an extended period, which can be mentally and physically exhausting—no matter how excited you are to begin married life.
To prevent burnout, carve out time where wedding planning isn’t the focus. Set aside regular "wedding-free" days or weekends to recharge and reconnect with your partner.
Equally important, don’t try to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks to friends, family, or a wedding planner, and trust them to handle some of the details. This will lighten your load and reduce the mental strain of feeling like you have to manage it all.
Throughout the process, prioritize your well-being by taking breaks and making time for interests outside of wedding planning.
FLEXIBILITY AND ADAPTABILITY
When planning a wedding, it’s always wise to expect the unexpected—and this is especially true during a long engagement. Life circumstances can shift, and being adaptable will help reduce stress if you need to adjust your plans.
To soften the blow if changes are necessary, take steps early to protect your plans. Start by reviewing vendor contracts to ensure they offer flexibility in case you need to reschedule your wedding date or adjust your guest count. Understanding your vendors' policies in advance can save you from unnecessary penalties.
Additionally, it’s smart to purchase wedding cancellation and postponement insurance. This type of coverage can help you recoup deposits and other wedding expenses if unexpected circumstances force a change in plans.
Being prepared for the unexpected allows you to approach your wedding planning with confidence, knowing that you’ve got a plan B in place just in case.
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