When Huffpost asked 22 grooms what was going through their minds when they saw their spouses-to-be on their wedding day, the answers were surprisingly transparent — and touching.
Several of the couples had participated in a first look: a private, often emotional moment when a bride and groom see each other before the wedding ceremony.
One of the grooms interviewed, Wayne Memmott, told HuffPost the minutes leading up to his first look with his bride seemed to stretch out forever — but their moment together before the ceremony was worth it.
"The door to the courtyard opened, and as soon as I heard her heels on the brick path, I started to tear up,” Memmott said. “She tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned, and I burst into tears for what would be one of many times that day. I remember looking at her and realizing that my life was going to be forever better because of her, and our day would be everything we wanted it to be, and it was.”
If this kind of moment sounds appealing, we have some considerations and tips that can help you decide if an intimate first look is right for you, and if it is, how to make it unforgettable.
The Growing Popularity of the First Look
First looks can be traced back to celebrity weddings in the 1990s and 2000s when cameras captured emotional moments of couples seeing each other for the first time on their wedding day. However, the trend didn’t take off for everyday couples until the late 2000s.
As more couples sought to make their weddings unique and create more private time together on their busy wedding day, first looks increased in popularity. As of 2019, about 76% of U.S. couples were having a first look on their wedding day.
While some couples still prefer to save the moment of seeing each other for the altar, many find first looks to be a meaningful way to savor some calm intimacy before the energy and events of the rest of the wedding day sweep them up.
Upsides to a First Look
When it comes to deciding whether a first look is right for you, there is no right or wrong decision. It's simply a matter of personal preferences.
Here are some benefits of planning an intimate moment to see one another before your ceremony.
It allows you to have a private moment.
This special moment belongs just to the two of you to take each other in, say a few words, and exchange gifts before being surrounded by family and friends the rest of the day.
It can help you feel more relaxed for the ceremony.
After letting go of the nervous jitters, you and your future spouse will be able to be more present and enjoy the ceremony more.
Photos are easier and faster.
Couples can take most bridal party and family photos beforehand, leaving just a few wedding party shots for post-ceremony. This gives you more time to attend your reception.
It facilitates a gap between the ceremony and the reception.
With photos done, you can take a break to attend cocktail hour with your guests while finishing any last reception details.
Your first reactions are genuine.
At the altar, the groom's reactions can seem staged or feel awkward as he waits for the bride to get closer. A first look allows photographers to capture authentic emotion.
Potential Downsides to Consider
While first look offers many perks, there are a few downsides to consider:
You lose that aisle moment.
Some couples dream of that first look moment as the bride comes down the aisle, and they want to experience it simultaneously with guests.
It goes against tradition.
While less common now, some couples prefer to honor long-standing wedding customs.
Overeager guests could sneak a peek.
Be sure to pick a private first-look spot to protect the intimate moment you've been anticipating.
You still need some post-ceremony photos.
While you can take the bulk beforehand, you’ll still want photos of the wedding party, extended family shots, and possibly more candid photos during cocktail hour.
A first look adds another scheduled event to your day.
Be sure to account for this moment and the time you'll need to get to the ceremony when making your wedding day timeline.
Tips for a Memorable First Look
If you opt for a first look, follow this advice to make the most of the experience.
-Choose an out-of-the-way location for privacy, like a tucked-away garden corner or inside a limo.
-Consider writing letters to read aloud to each other. This adds meaningful words to complement your emotions.
-You might want to exchange small gifts, whether symbolic like a locket or quirky like his-and-hers socks.
-Ask close friends and family to give you both a few minutes when you are truly alone before they come for group photos.
-Consider an exciting backdrop like a city skyline if you want some adventure, too.
-Schedule at least 30 minutes for yourselves to relax and soak in the moment.
-Arrange for last-minute makeup touch-ups afterward so you look fresh before guests.
Capturing Your First Look on Camera
Your first look wedding photos will be some of the most treasured from your special day. Follow this advice to get stunning shots.
-Hire a professional photographer with expertise in capturing emotional moments and who can scout and frame interesting backdrops.
-Make sure the lighting is optimal, avoiding harsh midday light or dark shadows. Late afternoon is ideal.
-Plan your outfits carefully. Opt for his jacket to be off and her veil flipped back so your faces are visible.
-Have a variety of shots planned: facing each other, reactions walking up, holding hands, embracing, forehead touching.
-Bring meaningful accessories for some shots like a love letter, gift, or family heirloom.
-Apply makeup that looks great up close since the camera will capture your joyful tears. Waterproof is a must!
-Do some solo shots of each of you to build up anticipation and capture your expressions before coming together.
-Forget the camera and immerse yourself in the moment once together. Your wedding photographer will fade into the background.
While you’ll need to decide what's right for you, first looks offer an excellent opportunity to privately ground yourselves in love and gratitude before the wedding celebrations commence.
When thoughtfully planned, your first look can be a profoundly meaningful moment you’ll cherish forever.
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