In a 2014 interview about post-wedding depression with ABC News, writer and editor Christine Porretta was very frank about her experiences.
“You’re doing some of the most intense planning of your life, whether that’s for a couple of months or a year before the big day, and then suddenly it’s all over,” she said. “When you get back from your honeymoon to your regular life, you’re often looking for that same excitement and it’s not there.”
Though a decade has passed, post-wedding depression remains a common experience for couples who’ve recently exchanged vows.
After the jubilation of the wedding and honeymoon fades, some newlyweds find themselves feeling unexpectedly sad, lost, or empty.
It's like coming down from a high. For months or even years, a couple might focus all their energy and attention on planning the perfect wedding. Once all of the wedding day passes and the routine of daily life resumes, they might feel a sense of anticlimax or wonder, 'What's next?'
Unlike clinical depression, post-wedding depression doesn’t stem from a chemical imbalance in the brain but rather from the sudden change in focus and goals, leading to feelings of sadness and a lack of direction.
First of All, It's Normal to Experience Post-Wedding Blues
Post-wedding depression, also known as post-wedding blues, is a natural response to the letdown that occurs after your wedding-planning season and big wedding day when your loved ones were focused on supporting you and making your experiencespecial. As consumer mental health resource, psycom.net, puts it, it’s completely normal to feel sad when that season draws to a close.
“After weeks and months of glamour and presents, choosing dresses and jewelry, and enjoying being the center of attention, you are suddenly back to the reality of paying bills and taking out the trash,” psycom.net states, paraphrasing Michelle B. Riba, MD, MS, DFAPA, FACLP, professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.
In other cases, post-wedding blues are rooted in challenging life situations, from a family conflict to financial difficulties, that a married couple put on the back burner before their wedding. It can be jarring to transition from the joy of beginning a new life to facing less-than-pleasant, stressful life events.
And then there are the challenges of learning to share life with another person, no matter how much you love them.
Adjusting to big changes can be challenging, and immediately after a wedding, couples can find themselves missing aspects of their earlier lives or feeling a loss of independence.
Symptoms to Watch For
As with any form of depression, the post-wedding blues can look different with different people. Symptoms could include:
-Continuous feelings of sadness
-Diminished interest in activities you normally enjoy
-Irritability
-Trouble sleeping
-Changes in appetite
-Difficulty concentrating
-Feelings of despair or hopelessness
If these symptoms linger, you don’t have to tough it out. There are steps you can take to get on the road to a better mental and emotional place.
Things That Can Help
A good starting place is to acknowledge what you're going through: Feeling sad after your wedding is OK. It doesn't mean you regret marrying your spouse.
Recognize that it's normal to experience a mix of emotions when a major event you've been planning for so long is suddenly over.
Here are some more strategies to consider:
Talk About It
Share how you're feeling with your partner, a family member, or a friend.
Sometimes, just talking about your feelings can lighten your mood.
Set New Goals
Find something new to look forward to. This could be planning a trip, taking up a new hobby together, or setting new life goals with your partner.
Think of it as starting a new chapter—you're moving forward to exciting new adventures.
Stay Connected
Keep in touch with friends and family. Organize get-togethers or small outings. It helps to stay connected and not to isolate yourself.
Focus on Your Relationship
With the stress of your wedding arrangements behind you, make the most of this time with your new spouse. Explore new aspects of your relationship and enjoy each other's company. It's like rediscovering why you fell in love in the first place.
Seek Professional Help If Needed
If your feelings are overwhelming and affect your daily life, talking to a mental health professional can be really beneficial.
They can provide strategies and support to help you overcome your post-wedding blues.
Embrace Routine
Establish a new daily routine together. Regularity can be comforting and provide a sense of stability after the chaos of wedding planning.
You’ll be creating a new normal that includes both excitement and the comfort of predictability.
Practice Self-Care
Take time for yourself. Whether it's reading, exercising, or meditating, make sure to do things that make you feel good.
Recharging your batteries can go a long way in helping you enjoy your new life to the fullest.
Reflect on the Experience
Soak in your positive wedding day and honeymoon memories. Organize photos, create a scrapbook, or write about your experiences.
It's a way of cherishing your memories and recognizing the beginning of your journey together.
The Bell Tower on 34th, one of Houston’s leading wedding venues with a chapel, is committed to helping recently engaged couples realize their wedding vision.
Our Instagrammable venue, a short drive from downtown Houston, is a beautiful site for weddings, corporate events, parties, and rehearsal dinners.
Contact us to learn how we can help you create an unforgettable event.
The Bell Tower on 34th
901 W 34th St, Houston, TX 77018
(713) 868-2355