Surviving Uncomfortable Wedding Moments

In 2020, when BuzzFeed asked readers to share their most awkward wedding moments, the responses ran the gamut, from a case of uncontrollable laughter during a couple’s ceremony to a flying shoe. One person even had a tale of accidentally setting her veil on fire as she attempted to light a unity candle.

We’re not mentioning this to worry you, only to make the point that life happens, even during weddings.

The good news is that a less-than-ideal moment doesn’t have to dampen the joy of your big day. If an awkward moment does occur, you’ll be among many couples who’ve encountered similar situations.

We’d like to help. Below, we’ve listed some of the most common causes of wedding embarrassment, along with our suggestions for getting through those moments.

Someone wrongly assumes they are invited.

This is one of those awkward moments that probably will take place before or after your wedding. If a friend or colleague asks when they should plan to attend your wedding—or why they didn’t get an invitation— begin the conversation by telling them you appreciate the fact they want to be there for you.

In an interview with Brides magazine, etiquette expert Heather Wiese-Alexander suggested explaining the number of people you could invite was limited.

Then make plans to meet for dinner, or something you typically enjoy together, after the wedding planning is through, Wiese-Alexander said, and thank them for being a part of your life.

Your flower girl or RING bearer does not want to walk the aisle.

Maybe you’ve planned to have a child in your ceremony, a flower girl or ring bearer, and when the moment comes, they refuse to cooperate or have a tantrum.

Don’t try to force them to participate—Just move forward with your ceremony without them. Have their parent or a close relative on call to watch them and bring them to the ceremony once the child is calm.

Guests are late to the ceremony.

This is a job for ushers, or designated volunteers to handle. They can stand at the venue entrance as the ceremony takes place and help late arrivals find seats when the timing is right. (Be sure to talk in advance so you’re all on the same page when it comes to appropriate times to seat late guests.)

A guest drinks too much at the reception.

This is not necessarily a situation where you should confront the guest. A good bartender should be able to help, though it might be worthwhile to have a conversation with them in advance about how you’d want over-imbibing handled. You also can enlist help in advance from your venue, a trusted family member, or even line up security.

An unexpected guest attends.

We encourage you to touch base with your venue and caterer in advance about their policies for unexpected guests. They probably will be willing to accommodate these situations for an additional charge. Generally, it is not good etiquette to turn people away—unless the unexpected guest’s presence is likely to lead to tension or a conflict with other family or friends. If that’s the case, this is another situation where you can ask a planner, security, or a trusted family member to take charge of the situation.

A phone rings at the wrong time.

In this era, a ringing phone is a fairly common wedding occurrence. In most cases, your officiant will be prepared to make a joke and keep the ceremony moving when the theme song to a guest’s favorite TV show starts playing in the background.

There’s a dance music glitch.

Every now and then, a DJ or band will play the wrong song for your first dance. The best thing to do is politely ask them to switch to the song you had in mind. If there’s a problem, WeddingWire suggests winging it and focusing on having fun. If you planned to present a choreographed dance, you can always ask the DJ or bandleader to get the correct song ready and announce your special moment later in the reception.

A toast goes wrong.

Maybe a speaker has started sharing TMI about an ex-partner, or the best man cracked an inappropriate joke. The best response is to laugh, smile, and keep the moment positive. Your guests will follow your cue. If someone’s toast starts running too long, your bandleader, DJ, or emcee can offer a silent signal that their time is up.

Guests Don’t Like Each Other

Not everyone that you want at your wedding necessarily wants to spend time with one another. Your guests could include, for example, two people who used to be a couple, relatives who aren’t on great terms, or people who just rub each other the wrong way.

Good communication can help here. Speak to guests who may have issues with other guests in advance. Assign them to different tables at your reception so they can avoid one another. And, if possible, ask a trusted neutral guest to be on call to try to step in to diffuse drama before it can start.

Corporate Catering Trends

While the pandemic is now behind us, its impact on corporate events lingers on. Companies and event planners working on their behalf are continuing to work to make guests feel safe and welcome—and to accommodate the public’s growing interest in staying healthy

If you will be attending or planning a corporate event this year, here are some of the catering trends you can anticipate.

Serving and Sizes

When it comes to food, caterers are responding to increased requests for individually sized portions. What does this look like? It can range from miniature food items (sliders and desserts in shot glasses) to individual cheese and charcuterie boards.

That’s not to say customers are turning their backs on buffets and food stations.

“I believe that the buffet will continue to exist, and it’s going to evolve in the way that it’s serviced,” Lenny Talarico, chief experience officer at Lental Productions, told video teleconferencing software provider, hopin.

Buffet and food stations are accommodating corporate customers by organizing serving tables to minimize crowding and long lines, individually wrapping snacks and desserts, and offering pre-plated entrees upon request.

Healthier Choices

Customers, now eager to go a step beyond healthy foods, have been requesting immunity-boosting selections for their corporate events.

These requests include probiotic foods that support good bacteria in the gut and bolster our immune systems. Examples of probiotics include Greek yogurt, which caterers can offer in parfaits, dips, and dressings; artichoke, perfect for meat and vegetable dishes, even bruschetta; and cabbage, which can be part of salads and vegetable dishes.

We’re also seeing growing interest in “prebiotics,” foods that set the stage for a beneficial probiotic environment by feeding the friendly bacteria in our gut. Many prebiotics are good fits for catered dishes, either on their own or as ingredients, including asparagus, blueberries, cranberries, cashews, edamame, garlic, onions, leeks, bananas, oats, and apples.

 Also high in demand for their immunity-boosting qualities are:

-Dishes made with açaí berries, which are considered a superfood for their immunity-boosting properties (and other benefits). At corporate events, caterers are serving açaí bowls, açaí smoothies, even açaí ice cream.

-Citrus fruits, which are loaded with immunity-boosting Vitamin C. Think fresh fruit juices, fruit and green-leaf salads with citrus, and elegant vegetable dishes complemented with citrus.

(Other ingredients high in Vitamin C include red bell peppers, think salads, chili, and hash browns, and spinach, perfect for salads, spinach quesadillas, and Chicken Roulade Florentine.)

-Garlic, which contains allicin and is known for strengthening immune systems. Caterers are adding roasted garlic to salads, vegetable dishes, and meat entrees.

-Elderberry, which is loaded with antioxidants and vitamins that help boost immunity. Caterers are delivering it in smoothies and elderberry-infused waters.

Flexitarian and Vegetarian

While offering plant-based options is hardly a new catering trend, it’s going strong.

This includes an interest in “flexitarian” diets, which include vegan (no animal products) choices along with meats and other animal products in moderation. To keep flexitarians happy, caterers are offering high-quality meats, so flexitarians feel their splurge is truly worth it, and creating delicious, outside-of-the-box plant-based selections.

“The rise in demand (for planted based food) is most noticeable on the corporate level,”  Fia Pagnello, founder and CEO of Kiss the Cook Catering, told CFE (Catering, Foodservice & Events). “Offices are increasingly focused on sustainability, and this is now starting to impact their purchasing when it comes to food.”

Caterers also are offering plant-based versions of non-vegetarian menu items like lasagna, and their vegan and vegetarian selections include international cuisine and dishes made from fresh, locally sourced ingredients.

Mushrooms: The New Kale

Mushrooms are a huge trend in corporate catering this year, possibly because of their taste, versatility, and nutritional value.

Most of the mushrooms being incorporated into caterers’ menus are white button mushrooms. Other popular choices are flavorful cremini mushrooms (young Portobello mushrooms), which make an excellent meat substitute, and shitake mushrooms, known for their light, woodsy flavor.

For a catering menu, think vegetable skewers with mushrooms, sautéed mushrooms with fresh herbs, wild mushroom soup, mushroom quesadillas, fillet mignon with mushroom sauce, braised lamb shank with mushrooms…and a multitude of other options.

Guests Want Creative Mocktails

Mocktails, non-alcoholic drinks that mimic their alcoholic counterparts, are always a great choice for corporate events. Attendees enjoy them, and the drinks don’t interfere with their ability to remain professional or focus on the information being shared.

With interest so high in healthy choices, high-quality mocktails are in especially high demand these days, and caterers are happy to accommodate.

“We’re better than Shirley Temples,” Jesse Hawkins, founder of Louisville-based The Mocktail Project, told PCMA (founded as the Professional Convention Management Association).

Guests at corporate events are enjoying unique takes on alcohol-free margaritas, mint juleps, and mojitos along with caterers’ and bartenders’ signature creations.

More Creativity on the Horizon

It has been encouraging to see companies return to live events, and their ability to make that transition, at least in part, is due to accommodating and innovative catering services.

We’re confident that the catering industry will continue to evolve to satisfy corporate clients and the people who attend their events.

About the Author: Roger Igo is the founder and CEO of wedding and special events venue, The Bell Tower on 34th. He is the author of “Keep On Going, The History of The Bell Tower on 34th,” a former radio host, a graduate of CEO Space International, and an alumnus of The Disney Institute.

Using Rentals to Infuse Personality Into Your Wedding

When you think about wedding rentals, do images of tents, tables, and linens come to mind?

That would only make sense: Those are some of the most commonly rented items at weddings, and rightly so, since they can save you the expense of buying and transporting them, along with storing them after the event.

But wedding rentals and venue upgrades also offer an opportunity for you to add creative touches to your wedding that are undeniably you—or to go a bit grander with your décor.

“That's the thing about rentals—they can make your big-day dreams come true, without the commitment of a one-time purchase,” Chloe Gorman wrote for MarthaStewart.com.

With that in mind, we’ve put together a few suggestions for using rentals to satisfy your creative wedding visions.

Pro tip: The sheer volume of rental options can be overwhelming. We suggest starting your planning by establishing a color scheme and/or theme, and then you can start looking for items that will support your vision.

Table Elements

Since your wedding guests will spend the majority of their time at their reception table, this is a perfect place to incorporate your unique style, beginning with your table linens.

“The napkins, tablecloth, and runner are additions that can showcase your creativity. Rebecca O’Dea of BBJ Linen told Brides magazine.” You can mix and match colors and fabrics to create a customized look.”

You can find linens in a huge variety of colors, patterns, fabrics, and textures—your artistic tools for expressing yourself.

And your options don’t stop there. Even your chargers, holders for the plates holding meal courses, can serve as creative elements. Use chargers to add a luxurious feel to your tables, or add fun by creating a mix of materials and colors. Chargers are also a great way to make other table elements shine. Gold chargers, for example, with gold flatware, can make the colors pop on your tablecloth or other decorative items.

Additional possibilities include renting China pieces for vintage, rustic or Victorian themes—or mixing pieces to add whimsy and color to your place settings.

Flatware and stemware offer additional options for infusing your personality into your wedding, vintage or special theme

Pro tip: As you consider your table options, try to keep the big picture in mind. For example, if you’re going to display mismatched China or chargers, you’ll also want some neutral elements—possibly your table linens—so items aren’t competing for attention.

Lighting

Your wedding lighting choices are another way to let your personality shine at your wedding.

Using rentals, you can create hang fairy lights for an enchanting effect, put out lanterns for a rustic or vintage feel, or display chandeliers for a touch of glamour.

If you want a whimsical effect, consider hanging rice paper lanterns over your dance floor—or go all out and bathe the entire reception area in light from a glowing overhead canopy.

Create Your Own Lounge Area

Another popular trend, and option for wedding personalization, is the lounge area.

While many venues offer areas where you and your guests can sit and relax, you always can create a lounge of your own—or add some special touches to what’s there.

Possibilities include:

-Renting sofas, loveseats, and chairs that support your wedding theme—or simply offer comfort

-Going a step further and renting side or coffee tables, where you can display signs, photos, and other personal touches

-Throwing in some pillows or rugs for extra pops of color and personality

-Enhancing the room’s appeal with rented live potted plants. (Rented plants and silk flowers also can be arranged along your aisle and displayed on reception tables.)

Some rental businesses specifically offer lounge packages. Borrow My Vintage in West Branch, Iowa, for example, invites customers to select from a wide variety of items, from blue-velvet couches, rugs, and pillows to signs, lanterns, and terrariums.

Mirror Rentals

Mirrors have become a popular way to add beauty and elegance to weddings.

One option is to transform them into customized signs: Use them to display seating charts or your signature cocktail.

Mirrors also can enhance the atmosphere you’re aiming for. You can find modern, artsy mirrors, antique mirrors; mirrors in dramatic frames. They’re a great tool for adding more personality to your event.

Whether you want to add dramatic elements to your wedding or a few strategic, creative touches, renting is a helpful—and often affordable—way to achieve your goals.

18 Wedding Favor Ideas

Wedding favors—gifts for guests—may have evolved over the years, but the practice of giving them is alive and well.

Most couples present favors during their reception, but you also can include them in hotel welcome packages or distribute the favors during a next-day brunch.

Event planner Summer Newman told Brides magazine she sees favors as a tangible symbol of thanks from a couple to their guests.

“It goes back to gracious hosting,” Newman said. “Favors tell your guests that you appreciate them coming out to celebrate you.”

The goal is to select items guests actually will want to keep—or enjoy in the moment, Alyssa Brown wrote for MarthaStewart.com.

“Gone are the days of monogrammed candies and wasteful tchotchkes that'll end up in the garbage,” Brown said. “Now, couples are more interested in giving their guests something meaningful that'll remind them of the experience they had at your wedding, or else something edible they can enjoy right away.”

If you’re leaning toward offering favors, you may be wondering how much to budget for them. In her interview with Brides, Newman recommended $10 to $20 per guest. For food items, though, you can go as low as $5 per guest.

Fun fact: Wedding favors date back at least as far as 16th-century England, when couples gave love knots made of lace and ribbon to their guests. The love knots symbolized the couple’s bond.

A bit later, European aristocrats began the trend of giving each guest a small gift known as a “bonbonniere.” These gifts, also given at other celebrations, were small boxes made of porcelain, crystal, or metal. They were filled with confectionaries. You could say the bonbonniere set the mold for the gift-wrapped boxes of sweets some couples give guests today.

Now all you have to do is select your favors. Here are your ideas.

1.     Packets of seeds for herbs or flowers in customized packaging

2.     Packages of coffee, whole or ground beans

3.     Brides magazine suggests filling test tubes with cocoa mix and adding customized tags. You could take the same approach with tea leaves.

4.     Speaking of chocolate, it’s hard to disappoint with chocolate favors. Try engraved bars, packets with a variety of treats, or s’ more kits.

5.     Give mini bottles of wine, Champagne, or liquor. Or… give guests mini cocktail kits.

6.     Soaps

7.     Give packets of seasoning blends, meat rubs, or spices.

8.     Frosted sugar cookies

9.     Butterfly garden kits

10.  You also can go with favors that tie in with your theme. Are you planning a movie-themed wedding? Give guests gourmet popcorn kernels. Will your wedding have a disco vibe? Give guests disco ball keychains. Are you thinking of a summer wedding? Give guests travel-sized sunscreen, sunglasses, and flip-flops in a cute beach bag. Another summer option would be s’more kits.

11.  Luggage tags

12.  Engraved shot glasses

13.  Jars of honey, jam, or maple syrup

14.  Go Texas with Lone Star magnets, barbecue sauce, hot sauce, pecans, Texas wildflower seeds, or mini bottles of tequila.

15.  Wine charms

16. Small bottles of olive oil

17. Unique bottle openers

18. Tiny succulents

Note: If you find the idea of favors wasteful, consider donating to a charity or nonprofit that resonates with you. If you’re passionate about animals, for example, contribute money to a local rescue organization. If your wedding has a theatre theme, donate to a local performing arts organization. You can put the donation information on your wedding website and invite guests to make donations of their own.

You can also use your wedding’s photo booth prints as wedding favors, which would be meaningful to guests and help you manage expenses.

About the Author: Roger Igo is the founder and CEO of the special events venue, The Bell Tower on 34th. He is the author of “Keep On Going, The History of The Bell Tower on 34th,” a former radio host, a graduate of CEO Space International, and an alumnus of The Disney Institute.

The Ins and Outs of Matching Wedding Bands

Matching wedding bands for the bride and groom are making a comeback.

True, this choice isn't for everyone, and some people prefer to select a unique wedding band for themself that expresses their individual personality.

But for others, opting for a pair of wedding bands that match is another way to symbolize a couple’s union and the lives they will be sharing.

Do Wedding Bands Need to Match?

If you haven't had an opportunity to see matching wedding bands, also known as couple wedding bands or paired wedding rings, the bride’s and the groom’s wedding bands are not necessarily identical.

Instead, these wedding ring sets complement one another: They feature the same metals, stones, and colors.

If this idea intrigues you, you can find more details below, along with tips on selecting rings that not only match one another but also your tastes and budget.

Does the Groom Buy Both Rings?

Wondering who buys the groom’s ring or if couples pick wedding rings together? When it comes to selecting wedding rings, there are no hard rules on who should purchase them.

Traditionally, the groom will buy the bride's engagement ring and wedding band while the bride will buy the groom's wedding band. However, more couples today are breaking from tradition and shopping for rings together.

The Appeal of Wedding Rings that Match

Why opt for matching wedding bands? It can be a meaningful way to express your shared journey ahead.

Coordinating your rings helps tell the story of your relationship and provides a physical reminder of your love and partnership.

Bands that match also can showcase unity on the wedding day and in everyday life.

For many couples, these ring sets represent the start of a new chapter, visually cementing their changed relationship status.

Beginning Your Search

When searching for the perfect wedding bands for the two of you, keep the following tips in mind.

Cost Considerations

First, set a budget that works for both of you.

The price of wedding rings can vary greatly depending on several key factors. First, the metal you choose will affect the cost significantly. Precious metals like platinum and gold are the most expensive, while silver, tungsten, and stainless steel are more budget-friendly options. The karat or purity of the gold also impacts the price. 24K gold is the purest and priciest. 14K and 18K gold offer an alloyed mix that is less expensive.

The style and intricacy of the wedding band design are additional cost determinants. Simple unadorned bands are generally cheaper than highly detailed rings with multiple stones or embellishments. The number, cut, clarity, color, and carat size of any diamonds or gemstones will drive up the price as well. Larger center stones and multiple smaller accent stones increase the overall cost.

You'll also want to consider the brand and jeweler you purchase from. Well-known designers and luxury jewelry retailers charge more compared to online vendors or independent local jewelers. Custom-designed rings usually cost more than pre-made options too. Extra engraving or resizing services can add to the total price.

Talk About Your Preferences

Next, have an open conversation about the style you both envision. Look through inspiration images online, on social media sites like Facebook and Pinterest, or in magazines, and talk about your preferences in metal, width, and embellishments.

You should also talk about the number of rings the bride will wear: Some opt to wear an engagement ring, a wedding band, and a third ring that celebrates the couple’s first year together, a child, or a shared future.

(You may be wondering how to keep three rings together. One solution is to use ring guards, which prevent rings from knocking into one another or moving.)

In any case, if your tastes differ significantly, you can always opt for wedding band sets that share a common element, like a type of metal or a stone, but have their own styles.

Do Your Research

It's wise to research options thoroughly before purchasing. Explore jewelry stores together and shop around virtually to get a sense of what's out there. Don't feel pressured into making a decision. Take your time, weighing the pros and cons of different metals and designs.

More on Metals

When choosing metal for your wedding rings, there are a few key considerations.

Gold is prized for its beautiful yellow tone and longevity. Yellow gold or white gold alloys (mixed with silver or nickel) reduce cost, but may cause skin reactions for those with allergies.

Rose gold is another option that offers a unique romantic hue. An alloy of gold and copper, rose gold gets its warm reddish-pink tone from the copper content. Compared to yellow and white gold, rose gold is trendier and a bit more affordable. The pinkish color is flattering on many skin tones and ideal for those who want a wedding band that stands out.

Platinum rings are extremely durable, naturally silver-white, and hypoallergenic but come with a higher price tag.

Silver is affordably priced, but requires more maintenance since it tarnishes over time.

Palladium offers customers a more affordable alternative to platinum. Tungsten and titanium are budget-friendly metals praised for strength and scratch resistance, but resizing these contemporary metals can prove tricky.

For green-minded couples, recycled metals are a sustainable option. Rings made from antique gold or reused materials reduce environmental impact.

Vermeil rings have a sterling silver base plated with gold for shine.

A Note About Ring Sizes

As you're doing your research, take the time to make sure you know what your ring sizes are.

You'll want to get sized properly so your rings will fit comfortably and won't require resizing. Schedule ring sizing as one of your first appointments when shopping together. Most jewelry stores offer complimentary sizing. The jeweler will use a thin metal sizer to determine your current size. For the most accuracy, they may measure both your ring and middle finger.

If visiting a jeweler isn’t feasible, you can print a free plastic ring sizer online to measure at home. Slide different sizer strips through the opening until one fits snugly without constricting. Measure the circular sizer opening with a ruler to determine your approximate size. Keep in mind your ring size may fluctuate slightly over time or in different seasons.

Trying on potential wedding bands gives you the best sense of fit. Pay attention to comfort and ensure the band moves smoothly along your finger but does not slip off easily. A properly fitted band should feel secure without feeling too tight.

The Final Stretch

Once you've narrowed down the selection, schedule appointments to see the potential rings in person.

Try them on and pay close attention to comfort and visual appeal. Engravings inside the rings can be a nice touch, but make sure the text aligns with your style.

Team Effort

Remember, you'll wear these rings every day, so choose something meaningful that excites you both.

With teamwork and good communication, you'll be able to select wedding bands that reflect your love story.

Roger Igo is the founder and CEO of special events venue, The Bell Tower on 34th, which delivers weddings and corporate events. He is the author of “Keep On Going, The History of The Bell Tower on 34th,” a former radio host, a graduate of CEO Space International, and an alumnus of The Disney Institute.

What You Should Know About Sunday Weddings

There’s a reason 70% of weddings take place on Saturdays.

For most people, and their guests, Saturday is by far the most convenient day for a large gathering. If people are joining you from out of town, they can arrive Friday evening and devote Sunday to their trip home. Saturday is a perfect fit, as well, if you want to celebrate and dance well into the early morning hours.

But despite all of those advantages, increasing numbers of couples are going with Sunday weddings instead.

For one thing, finding affordable venues with reservations open on Saturdays has always been a challenge. And now that people who postponed their weddings because of COVID-19 are booking their events, the competition for reserving a venue on Saturdays is even stiffer.

But Sunday weddings have more to offer than second-choice status. Getting married on the first day of the week can be more affordable, and depending on your tastes, can create its own unique and pleasant feel to the day.

If you’re thinking about getting married on a Sunday, we have some pros and cons to consider along with a few tips for you.

Drawbacks to Sunday Weddings

Sunday weddings can be wonderful, but they do pose a few challenges.

First of all, you may find it a bit more challenging to line up vendors, especially with the flurry of post-pandemic wedding planning we’re seeing now. 

You should know that some wedding-industry businesses limit themselves to one client per weekend. That means that if the videographer you’re interested in already has a Saturday wedding gig, they may turn you down for your Sunday event.

Not only that but Sunday not be ideal if you are considering a late-night wedding-after party.

What’s more, a Sunday wedding won’t necessarily be convenient for out-of-town guests, unless your Sunday wedding is taking place during a three-day weekend or it’s not a problem for them to take Monday off for their trip home. We suggest touching base with guests who would need to travel before you finalize your wedding date. Beyond that, prepare yourself for some guests to decline your invitation…or to leave your wedding early so they can return home at a reasonable time.

A few more thoughts on three-day holiday weekends: Holding a Sunday wedding during Memorial Day or Labor Day weekend has its own pros and cons. Most out-of-town guests can travel home on Monday, but they also will have to budget for more expensive airfare and hotel rooms on a holiday weekend. And, the more affordable, non-Saturday venue rate you were looking forward to may not be available on a holiday weekend, when demand tends to increase. We’re not saying you should rule out holiday weekends, but you will want to weigh your options carefully.

Another challenge related to Sunday weddings applies to those of you hoping to have your ceremony officiated by your pastor or in your church. They may not be available on a Sunday. But…if you have some time flexibility, you might be able to make it work

Sunday Wedding Plusses

As we’ve mentioned once or twice, Sunday weddings can save you money. Venues usually charge their highest rates for Saturday night weddings simply because those are the time slots in greatest demand.

Some caterers offer lower rates on Sundays, too, freeing money for other priorities like special entertainment or a custom wedding video.

In addition to savings opportunities, Sundays are perfect for a less-than-traditional wedding schedule. They’re ideal for brunch weddings or a late-afternoon wedding ceremony followed by dinner receptions. They also work for reception-only wedding celebrations. You also have the flexibility to be more casual, if you’d like, or aim for a shorter event than you might have on a Saturday.

Another reason to consider a Sunday wedding is the overall vibe that comes with it.  If the party atmosphere associated with Saturday-night weddings isn’t your thing, you may enjoy creating a family-friendly event or enjoying a beautiful outdoor setting on Sunday.

If you do go with Sunday, you might want to customize your theme—assuming you want one. For example, instead of a Hollywood theme, you can go with “Sunday Matinee” with popcorn and candy food stations and a retro movie theatre décor.

Looking for something more formal? A traditional Sunday tea party theme with lush flowers, china, delicate pastries, and creative signage allows you to keep things elegant but earlier in the day.

Want to get guests on the dance floor? A Sunday Funday theme sets the stage for an upbeat celebration, complete with beer, lawn games, and a killer playlist.

Or…create a festival wedding with rustic elements and carnival games. Offer fresh lemonade, sausage on a stick, and funnel cakes.

Tips for You:

If Sunday sounds like a good fit for you, here are a few suggestions for wedding success.

Send your save-the-dates further in advance—up to eight or nine months prior for Sunday weddings. This gives guests more of a heads-up to clear their calendars.

If you’d like a religious ceremony, line up your officiant far in advance. Try to avoid coinciding with special events or holidays that could impact their availability—in addition to the fact you need them on a Sunday!

If your Sunday wedding coincides with a holiday weekend, load your wedding website with hotel options so guests can find the right fit for their tastes and budgets-even when rates are higher than usual.

Provide transportation resources if your wedding falls on a holiday weekend that impacts travel plans. Offering a shuttle service can be helpful for out-of-town guests.

Guests also will appreciate information about local attractions if they’re coming to town for a longer stay.

Remember, there is no “wrong” day to get married, and there is no reason why your Sunday wedding can’t be an excellent, unforgettable event.

How to Plan An Amazing Bridal Shower

If you’ve agreed to host a bridal shower, you may be wondering how to get started.

While showers are an important part of a bride-to-be’s experience, don’t be intimidated or worry about reaching shower perfection.

Planning a sensational shower is very doable and often very enjoyable. When looking at bridal shower locations in Houston, you may want to consider hosting it at The Bell Tower on 34th.

To help you with your planning, we’ve put together some bridal shower basics and ideas to consider.

Bridal Shower Basics

A bridal shower generally is a chance for friends and family of the bride to “shower her” with gifts she can use and enjoy once she’s married. The celebration includes food, beverages, games, or activities—if the bride wants them—and time for the bride to open her gifts.

A bridal shower, by the way, is not exactly the same thing as a wedding shower. The first is all about the bride-to-be, while the other is a co-ed event for the bride and groom. This article will focus on bridal showers, but a lot of the advice here would work for either approach.

A word about shower hosts: Generally, these celebrations are organized by the maid of honor, close friends, bridesmaids, or bridal party, but really, anyone can be the host.

If that person is you, we suggest you start your planning process by creating a budget.

Categories can include:

-Food and drinks

-Decor

-Venue

-Rentals

-Vendors

-Favors

According to Brides magazine, bridal showers range in price from about $10 per person to more than $100 per person. You have the option of sharing this responsibility with others.

You also can enlist help with planning and event preparations, a step that we highly recommend. Multiple planners will ease the load you’re carrying and contribute to more creative ideas. Go ahead and find helpers to take on tasks that match their strengths and interests.

Here are some of the other factors you should consider as you plan:

Timing. Aim to hold the shower two to six months before the wedding.

Location. If you need venue ideas, you can find a wealth of ideas online. Our bridal shower venue tips include checking customer reviews, researching costs, and attempting to make an in-person visit.

The bridal shower guest list. While planning the shower is something you do to help the bride, she still should have input on her shower, especially when it comes to who’s invited. You don’t want to miss someone the bride hoped to include or put her in the uncomfortable position of welcoming someone she didn’t want there.

Distributing invitations. Aim to put your invitations in the mail (or send your electronic ones) about four to six weeks before the shower. If possible, ask guests to inform you about dietary restrictions and food allergies when they return their RSVPs so you can plan accordingly 

Dress. Your invitations should provide guidance on how formal the event will be.

Bridal Shower Gifts. Refer guests to the wedding website where they can access the wedding registry and find bridal shower gift ideas. You’ll also want to remind the bride to complete the registry in plenty of time and to include a variety of practical, fun, and unique bridal shower ideas. Most registries allow brides to incorporate ideas from more than one business. Plan to keep track of who gives which bridal gift during the shower so the bride can write thank you notes. (She will repeat this process after receiving wedding gifts. Even if she thanked people for her bridal shower gifts, she’ll need to send a thank you for each wedding gift.)

A note about bridal shower gifts for older brides: Mature brides, especially those marrying for the second time, may not necessarily need the practical household items a first-time bride will. Consider fun and luxurious items, from personalized keepsakes, honeymoon funds, or date-night packages for the newlyweds.

Food. Here’s a tip that’s easy to forget as you get caught up in your planning: Be sure to select food and cake that the bride actually likes. Wondering what to offer? Finger foods, beverages, and desserts are safe bets, but you can, of course, serve a meal. Depending on your budget and the size of the shower, consider enlisting a caterer’s help.

Drinks: offer a variety of fun drinks along with cocktails and other non-alcoholic options.

Consider music. You can create a playlist that includes some of the bride’s favorite tunes.

The groom. He won’t attend a bridal shower, but he can contribute ideas or put together a video message for the guests. Some grooms opt to make an appearance near the end of the shower, with flowers for the bride, and greet the guests.

Themes. These are optional. If you want to go this route and need ideas, draw inspiration from the bride and her passions, tastes, and interests. If she’s a chocoholic, for example, you’ll find a wealth of ideas for throwing a fabulous chocolate-themed shower. Your activities (see more below) could even include making your own chocolate candy for bridal shower favors.

Décor: This is another area that should reflect the bride’s interests and personality. She may already have some thoughts on the decor she would like. If she doesn’t, consider showing her a few options for colors, flowers, signage, and other decorative elements for her to select from.

Sounds: Use music to enhance the mood. You can create a playlist of tunes—including some of the bride’s favorites—along with some love songs and upbeat choices to play in the background.

Beyond the Gifts: Shower Activity Ideas

Do you need inspiration for things to do at a bridal shower? More and more showers feature activities that guests might enjoy trying in their spare time like wine tastings, DIY crafts, or a bit of pampering.

Along those lines, you’d be surprised at the variety of specialty businesses willing to come to you when you host a shower. You can, for example, line up a wine specialist for tastings and food pairings, a calligraphy instructor, a choreographer who can teach the bride and guests a special dance, a chef to teach guests a specific recipe, a “mixologist” who can go over making a signature cocktail, a massage therapist, or a manicurist.

That said, there is nothing wrong with offering bridal shower games, and the bride may have been looking forward to them. You can go with traditional games like Pin the Veil on the Bride or create toilet-paper wedding dresses.

Additional game possibilities include Purse Scavenger Hunt, Newlywed Trivia, and Pen a Poem, where each guest writes one line of a romantic poem for the couple, folds the paper over to hide their words, and passes it along until everyone has a turn. And these are only a few of the many, many game activities you can find online.

Just remember, the activities, food, and décor you plan will all contribute to the day, but there’s no need to stress over the details.

If you plan with the overall goal of creating sweet memories for the bride and her guests—and making the bride feel special—the shower you host will be a tremendous success.

A Guide to Creating Your Wedding Registry

Like many things related to wedding planning, the idea of creating a gift registry can be exciting—and a bit daunting.

That’s why we’ve put together a list of tips to help create a positive experience, both for you and those who want to give you gifts.

In case you’re familiar with the term wedding registry but fuzzy on how one works, a wedding registry is a wish list you will establish with one or more retailers so your guests, and those who want to give you a wedding gift, know what you need without trying to guess your tastes and needs.

Most registries show shoppers what has already been purchased, and some online registry services allow couples to consolidate lists from multiple sources (ranging from brick-and-mortar shops to online retailers) into one convenient list.

So, what should you know about setting up your registry? Here are your tips.

Etiquette Tips

Your registry should be devoted to items that you and your partner will use in your life together. It’s not the place to ask for clothing, jewelry, or other things specifically for one of you.

Along the same lines, don’t ask for gifts you would like to use at your wedding (like signage to set up at your venue or floral displays). It creates a vibe that you’re asking people to help pay for your wedding, and that’s not considered good etiquette.

Putting it on your invitation is an etiquette no-no. Instead, include a link to your wedding website on your invitations.

Asking for money is frowned upon, but you can set up funds for your honeymoon, saving up for a house, or other goals you share as a couple.

When and How Much?

Create your registry sooner rather than later. Some people will rely on your registry to buy for you more than once, possibly for an engagement gift and shower gift, and they would appreciate access to a registry (even if you plan to expand it) two or three weeks after you announce your big news. If that’s not practical, you should have a registry ready for guests at least four to six months before your wedding.

This is one of those times when it’s helpful to ask for a lot—or at least to give people lots of options—including gifts that sell for less than $50. It’s OK to include some options that are $100 or more.

You probably will be tempted to make your list too short. We suggest adding two or three gifts for everyone on your invitation list. And remember, you’re not going to get everything you ask for.

Check your registry from time to time. While it’s unlikely, It’s possible it will run out of gifts before all of your guests get a chance to do their shopping.

Stick with two or three stores, possibly a large department store with household goods and maybe a specialty store.

Getting Started

Before you start browsing store inventories or working with a registry guide, work with your partner to create a list of what you’ll need. Then you can look at what retailers offer and find specific products you both like.

Research registry sites. Consider the types of items you can register for, ease of use for you and the people who will be relying on your registry to shop, the availability of different price points, refund policies, and perks—some retailers offer registry assistance, loyalty program points, and even gifts.

Work on your registry with your partner. You’ll be asking for items you’ll be using and enjoying together, hopefully. You both should agree on the items you’re requesting.

Wondering what you can include? Categories can include bedding,  bathroom, kitchen and dining, cleaning, home appliances home decor, home improvement, garden and outdoors, luggage/travel, living room, smart home/electronics, recreation/entertainment, storage/organization, and special funds.

Some couples opt to ask people to make donations to charitable causes close to their hearts. This is a great option if you don’t necessarily need tangible gifts. Loved ones still get to do something special to honor your marriage, and supporting a worthy cause will add even more joy to your union. Plus, by combining gifts from multiple guests, you’re better positioned to make an impactful donation.

Some registry programs let you include a link to a charity’s donation page. Other sites, like The Good Beginning, are designed for charitable giving. Put thought into the shipping address you want to provide. Will someone be there to accept gifts? Is there room to store them?

Some online registries offer a “hold” feature, meaning you’ll receive a notification when someone buys an item on your list, but it won’t be shipped until you’re ready. This helps reduce chaos during your wedding planning and preparations, and if you realize you’ve received duplicates of a gift, you can exchange one before it’s sent to you.

Overall Advice

Look ahead. Don’t limit your list to items you need immediately. If you hope to buy a bigger bed in a couple of years, for example, or to start entertaining, register accordingly.

Register for items you’ll actually use; don’t limit yourself to high-end items like fancy china for special occasions. You don’t have to limit yourself to practical items, and there’s nothing wrong with including some splurges, but the idea of a registry is to help you and your spouse-to-be set up your household together.

Register for items you’ll actually use; don’t limit yourself to high-end items like fancy china for special occasions. You don’t have to limit yourself to practical items, and there’s nothing wrong with including some splurges, but the idea of a registry is to help you and your spouse-to-be set up your household together.

14 Tips For Planning a Second Wedding

If you’re getting married for a second time, we suggest keeping two general rules in mind during your planning process.

First, be considerate of others as you announce and plan your wedding.

Second, there are no other rules. You don’t have to deny yourself the wedding you want or consider any traditions off-limits simply because you’ve been married in the past.

“If you're under the impression that a second wedding should be tiny, that you can't have a wedding shower, that you can't wear white, or that you shouldn't have a bridal party, think again,” Alyssa Brown wrote for Martha Stewart magazine. “It may be your second, but it's still your wedding. These etiquette rules no longer have much standing, and your guests certainly won't be thinking about them when they see how happy you are on your wedding day.”

 We agree and have put together some tips and guidelines to help you and your spouse-to-be create the wedding you both want.

1. Consider your children’s feelings. Whether they’re little ones or full-grown, they should be the first to learn you’re planning to re-marry. Do as much as you can to involve them in your planning and the wedding itself. If you’re planning to change your last name after marriage, include that in your discussion.

2. After talking with your children, share your news with your parents, immediate family, and friends. Your former spouse probably will appreciate receiving the news from you as well.

3. Think carefully before inviting former spouses or their family members. Yes, sharing the news of your engagement is a thoughtful step, but it’s not necessarily a good idea to invite your ex-husband or former mother-in-law to the wedding. Even if you’re on friendly terms with them, their presence can create tension and discomfort no one needs.

“Generally my advice would be no unless situations are such that you are still very friendly and close with your former spouse and/or his or her family members,” wedding planner Amy Nichols told Brides magazine. “In the event that your second marriage is after the death of your previous spouse, I think inviting your deceased spouse’s family is a very nice gesture. Just know that it might be a hard situation for them and that they may not attend.”

4. Do what it takes to keep you and your partner on the same page. Discuss everything: goals, budget, priorities, guests—you name it. It could be that you have very different ideas about the scope of your celebration. Try to identify what’s most important to both of you and work out a compromise.

5. You can have a bridal shower and bachelor/bachelorette parties. Maybe these are experiences you missed out on the first time around, you want new housewares to kick off your new life, or these pre-wedding events are something you’ve been looking forward to. A wedding after-party is great, too. If you want to enjoy these events, plan them.

6. You can have a religious ceremony—probably. Some religions object to having a religious ceremony when you’re re-marrying. Talk with your house of worship or clergy about what you’re hoping to do.

7. Find fitting roles for your children. You don’t have to limit your children’s involvement to traditional roles like flower girl or ring bearer. Your children can walk you down the aisle, be part of the wedding party, present a reading...anything that you and your children feel comfortable with. Along the same lines, don’t saddle your children with roles they don’t want. Your wedding should be a positive experience for them, too.

8. A wedding registry is perfectly acceptable. Some worry that registering for gifts is a bit tacky when you’re re-marrying, but that’s just not true. Your loved ones will still want to give you gifts, and a registry will be helpful to them. Create a registry for the items you want, or set up a honeymoon fund.

9. Size doesn’t matter. When it comes to your wedding, go as big or as little as you’d like. If you want to keep your celebration simple and small or hold a reception after a private ceremony, that’s perfectly OK, but an all-out wedding bash with gorgeous decor is your prerogative, too.

10. Your invitation wording is up to you. It may feel strange to use the last name associated with your ex-spouse, but that also may be the name most people know you by. In the end, go with the name you feel comfortable with.

11. Select a dress that you love. Look for a dress that matches the venue you’ll be married in, the season, and the overall environment you’re going for. Something that flatters you.

Want a white dress? Go for it! You also can choose a pastel, neutral shades, metallics, multi-color patterns, or floral prints. Again, the goal here is to make choices that bring you happiness.

12. Honor late loved ones. If you or your partner want to celebrate the memory of a late spouse—and you both feel comfortable with it—you can find ways to honor them. Possible ideas include reading a favorite poem or Bible verse, displaying photos, or asking someone close to you to say a few words in your late loved one’s honor.

13. Make the day uniquely yours. If you and your spouse feel comfortable with it, write personalized vows that celebrate your commitment and the new life you’ll be building together.

Maybe you’d like a theme: Pick something meaningful to both of you, maybe a shared interest, something you aspire to do together, or something that ties in with a meaningful memory like the movie you watched on your first date.

14. Set this wedding apart from the last one. Don’t be afraid to be untraditional. Try a brunch wedding. Skip the dancing. Select a gorgeous venue that makes you feel special. Or…go all out with over-the-top entertainment. Create memories you and your guests will treasure.

Ultimately, we recommend planning with the goal of creating an unforgettable event, no matter how many times you’ve been married up to now.

You are embarking on a new journey with the one you love. Celebrate in a way that brings you both joy.

Holding a Sunset Wedding

Sunset is a magical time. Watching the sun create a spectacular array of colors across the sky as it descends beneath the horizon can instill peace and a sense of wonder in us.

Maybe that’s why increasing numbers of couples choose to schedule their wedding ceremonies in the late afternoon or early evening so they can add the beauty of sunset into their special day.

If you’d like to try this, we have some tips for you. But before we move into our suggestions, we’re going to look at some of the pros and cons of holding a sunset wedding.

Sunset Weddings: The Plusses

First of all, if you hold your wedding ceremony at sunset, you’ll probably have incredibly gorgeous photos of you, your family, your wedding party, and the key wedding moments you're hoping to capture. Between the colors and the lighting, your photographer will have all of the ingredients necessary to create something special.

Romance will be in the air. The beauty of the moment will be unforgettable for you, as a couple, and for those sharing it with you.

Not only that, but you’ll be able to maintain a romantic, intimate vibe that night with lights and candles.

Timing will be on your side. If you’re holding an outdoor summer wedding, the heat will be dissipating with the sunshine. Of course, there are no guarantees it will get significantly cooler, especially in Texas, but the evening is more likely to provide a comfortable setting for your guests during the reception, including your time on the dance floor.

A Few Downsides to Consider

On the other hand, sunset weddings come with some challenges. For one thing, you'll need to do some careful research and planning to align your ceremony with the sunset.

Not only can it be a bit challenging to align your ceremony and the sunset, but your photographer (and videographer) will have a narrow window for capturing the best photos.

As Australian photography service Emot points out in a recent blog, shoot photos too early and you might have too much light, too late, and the sky turns dark.

We suggest working closely with your wedding photographer, planner, and wedding venue to nail down the details of your wedding timeline. When it comes to capturing the light and colors of the sunset, you won't have very much wiggle room.

You'll also want to check (and double-check) the actual sunset time on your wedding day.

Another factor to consider: Holding any event outdoors comes with some risks. Nature doesn't always respect couples' wishes, even when they plan their wedding meticulously. That means you'll need to do some contingency planning and accept the fact that while you will have an unforgettable wedding, it may not match your vision.

Sunset Wedding Tips and Ideas

Want to move forward with a sunset wedding? Here are some suggestions for making it memorable.

Improving Your Odds of Capturing Gorgeous Photos

Austin-based Nguyen Photography recommends timing the start of your ceremony about 15 to 20 minutes before the sun sets to have soft, glowing light as you exchange vows.

Don't be daunted by the idea of capturing beautiful photos when the lighting is just right, though You can find plenty of skilled photographers willing to take on that challenge.

As you research photographers, look for experience with outdoor weddings and capturing the "golden hour," that hour before the sun sets when the lighting is most conducive for lovely, and flattering, photos.

After you make a selection, talk with your photographer. Make sure they know what you hope they'll capture and your greatest priorities. See what they need from you to be effective.

Consider Your Guests’ Comfort

If your seating arrangement calls for guests to gaze into the setting sun during your ceremony, you want to make sure they remember the beauty of the pink, orange, and red sky, not the light glaring in their eyes.

Try placing sunglasses on their chairs.

Also, if you’re getting married when the weather is cool, some guests may begin to get chilly after sunset. Consider offering blankets and possible heating towers.

Make Sure Everyone Has Enough Light

Meanwhile, you'll want to make sure that your wedding officiant, musicians, readers, and others working during your ceremony and reception have sufficient light to do what they need to do. Talk with them about your plans and ask how you can accommodate them.

Your planner and venue may be able to provide suggestions.

Let the Sunset Inspire You

Unless you have a specific wedding theme, the sunset can be a great focal point for your celebration: decor, songs (From “Sunrise, Sunset” to “Here Comes the Sun”), cocktails—you name it.

Consider linens, flowers, and invitations in the hues of the sunset.

You can incorporate romantic candles, lanterns, and string lights into your decor to add to the romantic feel of your reception after the sun goes down.

Make your signature drink a Rum Sunset Cocktail, Summer Sunset Vodka Cocktail, or a Tequila Sunset.

You can even find signage that ties into the sunset theme.

With your planning and fun ideas, creating your wedding will be just as beautiful as the colors spanning across the sky.

Wedding Speech Dos and Don’ts

Since it was posted more than six years ago, a YouTube video of two women transforming a medley of well-known songs into a show-stopping wedding toast has been watched more than 4 million times and liked by more than 30,000 viewers.

We have no doubt that the music and humor in this video contributed to its long-standing YouTube success, but for us, it’s the love and genuine happiness for the bride and groom that make this wedding day toast endearing. For those of you who’ve been asked to make a toast at a close friend or family member’s wedding, those are the emotions we’d encourage you to express when it’s time to wish the bride and groom a happy future.

Great wedding toasts aren’t necessarily perfect — or candidates for YouTube. They’re heartfelt. 

Beyond that, if you put some thought into your presentation, and practice a bit, chances are great that your message will be cherished long after the wedding.

We have some tips that can help create a killer wedding speech, from common missteps to avoid to best practices to aim for.

Don’t wing It. You might be thinking, I’m a “go with the flow” kind of person. It’s worked for me so far. Why stop now? 

Our answer is, sure, you might be able to improvise successfully. But, then again, you might forget to include something important (some impromptu speakers even neglect to mention the bride and groom) or, even worse, accidentally say something that will embarrass or hurt someone. Why take that risk?

As Debby Mayne wrote for The Spruce, “Remember that once you say something, you can't ‘unsay’ it.”

Don’t assume you have to be funny. Yes, humor can be a great way to connect with your audience, and you’ll find plenty of “how to deliver a speech” and “funniest wedding toasts” articles that suggest opening with a joke is the way to go. But delivering funny wedding toasts doesn’t come easily to everyone. Poorly delivered jokes can remove the focus of your speech from the bride and groom and place it squarely on you — and not in a good way. So, if you don’t feel comfortable telling jokes, skip them.

If you do want to include a joke or two, don’t make them at someone else’s expense. Scoring a few laughs isn’t remotely worth creating bad feelings. The best wedding toasts aren’t about the speaker; they’re about adding to the joy of the day. 

Here’s one more tip on humor from speaking coach AmondaRose Igoe. “One big mistake I see over and over is when an individual announces when they are getting ready to tell a joke or a funny story,” Igoe said. “They start a joke by saying ‘Here is a funny story,’ or ‘A funny thing happened when I …’ The challenge is when someone announces it is going to be funny, they have set themselves up for potential failure. Unless the joke or the funny story is absolutely hysterical and leaves everyone rolling on the floor, it will make you look bad.”

Instead, Igoe suggested, if you have a great story, just tell it. If people laugh, great. If not, no one will know it was supposed to be funny.

Don’t bring politics or other potentially divisive topics into your speech. This always has been a good rule of thumb, and in today’s world, it’s more important than ever. Alienating others is a great way to ruin a celebration.

Do cover the basics. Generally, wedding toasts should include:

-A brief introduction: explain who you are. If you’re a friend of the bride or groom (or both), mention how long you’ve known them and how you became friends (without divulging overly personal details).

-Congratulations and well wishes for the newlyweds. (Be sure to speak to both of them.)

-A raised glass and toast at the end.

Do devote time to research. It wouldn’t hurt to look up wedding toast speech examples to get a feel for effective speaking techniques.

Don’t let online speech videos intimidate you. Yes, we started this article with an example of an over-the-top speech, but don’t feel you need to break out in song, perform a dance, or recite a poem to deliver a successful wedding speech. The videos you find when you Google “amazing wedding speeches” or “unique wedding toasts” aren’t meant to be instructional, and they won’t necessarily leave the newlyweds feeling warm and fuzzy. Again, the bride and groom should be the focus of the day.

Do have a theme. You’ll need a main point to transform your speech from a collection of random thoughts to a cohesive, engaging presentation. Your theme can be simple, from your favorite memories of the bride to how the bride and groom complement one another.

Do incorporate a story or two into the speech. When giving wedding speeches, stories help support your main points and evoke positive emotions. Just remember to select your anecdotes carefully. Sweet and funny stories are perfect, but just like your jokes, stories should never be embarrassing or hurtful.

Do put yourself in the audience members' position. As you write your speech, ask yourself if it will make sense to wedding guests who don’t know the bride or groom well. What will people need to know to understand your stories? Are there details that need to be clarified? 

Do keep the speech’s length in check. If the couple doesn’t give you a time limit, generally, three to five minutes is ideal for wedding toasts.

Do practice and time your speech. And, try to recruit someone you trust, someone willing to provide honest feedback, to be your test audience. If a joke is falling flat or something is confusing, you’ll have a chance to fine-tune your presentation.

Do ask the bride and groom if there are any topics you should avoid. You may find the story about how your little sister rode a laundry basket down the staircase at age 7 entertaining, but she may be less than enthusiastic about sharing it with her wedding guests. Or…maybe you’re privy to big news (like an upcoming move) that the couple will want to share when they feel the timing is right. Respect their wishes, and keep that information to yourself.

Don’t worry. The idea of taking the microphone in a wedding venue ballroom packed with people can be daunting, but you’ve got this.

Ultimately, delivering a successful wedding toast is very doable. Don’t worry about dazzling your audience or delivering the perfect wedding speech. Talk about what the bride and groom mean to you. Tell them why you’re happy for them. In the end, the newlyweds will remember your words fondly.

10 Ideas for Whimsical Wedding Touches

Want to inject a bit of whimsy into your wedding? A touch of playfulness?

Why not? Your nuptials are a celebration of you and your spouse-to-be, not only of the journey you’re beginning together and your love but also of who you both are. If you tend to approach life with a sense of fun and merriment, that should be reflected in your wedding.

So, as you plan your ceremony and reception, weave in elements that will add to your joy, from carefree color combos to humous touches to entertainment that caters to your inner children.

We have some thoughts to help inspire your creative ideas, but first, we’d like to share a bit of advice for planning a whimsical wedding that delights you, your partner, and your guests.

As you plan:

Make sure both you and your partner have input. The goal is to develop wedding ideas that reflect, and respect, the personalities of both people getting married. While your partner may love your less-than-traditional vision for colors and lighting effects, they may be less enthusiastic about choreographing a humorous dance routine for the reception or working one-liners into your wedding vows. Try to stick with things that you both like and give each other permission to reject ideas that make the other person uncomfortable.

Give guests a feel for what they can expect on your wedding day. If you’re planning a carefree celebration with elements of fun, you can send save-the-dates and invitations with the same feel. Incorporate creative images and unusual materials.

One warning for your invitations: Clever wording and elements of humor are great, but make sure the main points you need to convey—“you’re getting married at this day, time, and location, and RSVPs are due by this date”—are crystal clear. You don’t want anyone wondering if your invitation is some kind of joke or to cause confusion.

Consider your guests. While your wedding should reflect your carefree personality, the twinkle in your eye so to speak, try to ask yourself—and trusted friends and family—if anything you’re planning could make the loved ones sharing your day uncomfortable or even cause pain. For example, if you’re planning to add humor to your personalized wedding vows, you wouldn’t want to score laughs at someone else’s expense, no matter how funny the joke would have been.

Your 10 Ideas

1. Brighten the mood. You can set your wedding apart with creative combinations of colors you love: a pallet of pastels, eye-popping combos of pink and orange, or different shades of one color. You can incorporate your color scheme into floral arrangements, centerpieces, food and drink presentations, linens—even your bridal party’s outfits.

2. Create a personal comfort zone. Wear your dream wedding gown—and your favorite comfy shoes. In an article for MoneyWise about couples that are embracing their quirky side, Sarah Cunnane noted that more and more brides are turning their backs on tradition, at least when it comes to high heels on their wedding day.

“Whether it’s for comfort or for personal style reasons, eccentric brides (and grooms) are rebelling against tradition by wearing running shoes, tennis shoes or skateboard shoes to their wedding,” Cunnane wrote, adding that some brides are taking their bold shoe choices one step further by wearing a bold color that complements their color scheme.

You can, of course, break with wardrobe traditions beyond shoes. Just aim for something that gives you joy, and if you’re going for comfort or personal statements, be sure to welcome your guests to do the same.

3. Plan to smile when you see your aisle. Since you’ll be making your public debut as a bride on the aisle, you might as well create a setting that is undeniably you. Bridal Guide suggests lining your aisle with balloons and instructing guests to release them as you pass them.

4. Set the stage for playtime. Couples have been known to dance in a T-rex costume, dress as their favorite book characters or superheroes during their reception (or for part of it), and have toys like Legos or Etch-A-Sketches on hand. If those ideas excite you, go for it. You can even rent a bounce house or carnival games for your reception.

5. Your centerpieces can be child’s play, too. Try arrangements of lollipops, balloons, silly straws, or toys with or without flowers.

6. Let your creativity shine. You can use lighting effects to shine the spotlight on your unique sense of style. Bridal Guide suggests suspending candles from tall floral arrangements on your reception tables. You also can illuminate the walls or columns of your venue or create a colorful dance floor.

7. Encourage a sense of wonder. Hire magicians, fire eaters, or jugglers to entertain. A quick online search should point you to entertainment agencies that specialize in unique acts for weddings.

8. Consider a food station with fun favorites. Think about what would make your day and talk with your caterer about it. A few possibilities include stations with candy, doughnuts, pancakes, or comfort foods.

9. Don’t limit your cocktails to the traditional. One possibility during your cocktail hour is to offer boozy popsicles or alcohol-infused snow cones.

You also can come up with a fun name for your signature cocktail. Work with your bartender to develop something creative like “Bloody Marry Me,” “Mai Guy,” or “Kindred Spirits.” The possibilities are endless.

10. You always have the option of subtle touches. If your partner’s enthusiasm for big ideas—or your budget—is a bit limited, you’ll find small details go a long way. You can, for example, opt for creative guest favors, fun signage, or humorous escort cards.

You also can take creative approaches to wedding traditions. Have adults serve as flower people or ring bearers—or, allow a beloved pet to walk down the aisle (if your venue has no objections).

However you showcase them, if elements of fun and humor are part of the equation that makes you and your spouse-to-be who you are, then the event that launches your lives together should reflect them. Hopefully, you’ll have as much fun planning those aspects of your wedding as you do implementing them and sharing them with your guests.

Bridal Portrait Pros and Cons

Who says your wedding day has to be your only moment in the spotlight?

For many, bridal portrait photo sessions are a chance to enjoy a day of dressing up, complete with hair, makeup, and wedding dress, months before their wedding day.

According to Dallas-based Sami Kathryn Photography, bridal portrait sessions got their start in Europe and are especially popular in the American South.

If you’re wondering whether you should have bridal portraits taken, our list of pros and cons may help with your decision. We’ve also included some tips for you to keep in mind.

Bridal Portrait Pros

For many, taking bridal portraits is a positive experience, and the benefits aren’t limited to beautiful photos. (Of course, having gorgeous photos that mark an important chapter in your life is a pretty big plus.)

Here are some of the biggest pros:

You’ll have more time on your wedding day to focus on shots with your new spouse and loved ones.

Your photo shoot gives you a “practice session,” so to speak, to help you adjust to being photographed.

Having bridal portraits made in advance allows for a more relaxed photo shoot, while day-of-wedding shots may be a bit rushed. It also is easier during your bridal portrait session to get creative or add a bit of whimsy to some of your shots if you’d like.

Bridal portraits make wonderful gifts. You can give your partner, parents, and other loved ones a framed print.

Have we mentioned that these photo sessions can be fun, especially if you enjoy getting your hair and makeup done and dressing up?

Bridal Portrait Cons

Of course, bridal portraits are not a requirement, and for some, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Potential negatives include:

Bridal portraits will increase your wedding expenditures and add more to-dos to your list.

You absolutely can get solo portrait shots taken at your wedding. Just talk with your photographer and let them know it’s a priority.

You will have to select your dress, and have the alterations done, earlier than you might have otherwise.

The number of poses you can do alone, instead of with your partner, is limited.

You’ll need to take great care to keep your dress spotless during your portrait session.

Tips For You

If you do want bridal portraits, we have some strategies for preparing and making the most of them. A few ideas:

Don’t limit yourself to your wedding dress. Take some shots in another outfit that you feel flatters you.

Do a bit of multitasking. Try out the hair and makeup styles you have in mind for your portraits. After you see the portraits, you can decide if you want to make any tweaks, from a different hairdo to a different shade of eyeshadow. You also can give your wedding shoes a trial run and break them in a bit.

 Communicate with your venue and vendors. Give your seamstress a heads up about your portrait session date so they can make sure your dress is ready, and you’ll look fabulous in it. You’ll also want to finalize the session details far in advance with your venue if you want your session held there, and your photographer. Will other vendors or businesses that will be involved? Maybe you’ll want your florist to create a small bouquet for you; talk with them in advance, too.

Ask someone to join you for your session. If you enlist the help of a close relative or friend, they can help you and your dress look their best. Be sure to follow up with a note of thanks.

Give your location careful thought. The “where” for your portrait session is up to you. You can choose a scenic outdoor location (have a backup indoor location in mind), or maybe you’d prefer a place with sentimental value. You also can arrange to do the shoot at your venue.

Make sure you get enough sleep before your portrait date. Being well-rested does make a difference.

Make your portrait part of your wedding décor. Display your favorite bridal portrait during your reception.

If you decide to have bridal portraits made, we hope you embrace the experience. The months leading up to your wedding can be a blur. This is a chance to capture some of the sweetness of that time and enjoy a bit of pampering while you’re at it.

How to Plan an Amazing Bachelorette Party

It can easily be argued that, apart from the actual wedding day, the bachelorette party is one of the most anticipated events of the entire nuptial experience, not only for the bride but for her group of best girls, as well.

With so much riding on a great shindig and proper single-life sendoff for the bride-to-be, it’s important to get it right. From the planning to the location to the guest list and the entertainment, details matter! Here are a few guidelines to help you cover all your bases when planning and executing a great sendoff for the guest of honor.

Decide who’s hosting, how decisions will be made, and how costs will be divided.

The bride should be kept in the loop as you plan, but don’t saddle her with the details of arranging a soiree in her honor, especially when she’s immersed in working out the details of her wedding. Let her decide when and where she wants to hold the event, especially if it’s going to be an overnight or weekend getaway. And, of course, she determines the guest list. Also, find out what she definitely doesn’t want or if she has something very particular in mind. However, when it comes to scheduling activities or booking dinner reservations and hotels, don’t bother her. This is where delegated tasks among the planners come in.

Start planning early.

It may take some time before you can firm up all of the details, but we encourage you to start developing ideas and doing your research well in advance. As soon as the bride and groom determine their wedding date and location, you can start figuring out when the bachelorette party will take place. Assume that most of the attendees have busy schedules, and give yourself time to find a date that everyone can agree on.

Don’t ask for or expect gifts.

In fact, it’s a good idea to let it be known that no guests or hostesses are to buy a present for the bride. It should go without saying, but best to err on the side of caution and let everyone know the deal upfront.

You can forgo formal invitations.

Because the bachelorette party is an intimate affair between close friends, email invites will do. After all, the cost would only add to the final tally and eat into a budget better spent on fun activities—like a group spa session!

Get your swag ready, but don’t forget the essentials.

If you’re planning a hotel party, a pub crawl, or even a long weekend at a cabin, it’s fun to have party cups, banners, balloons, and even bachelorette-themed novelties for the bride and her squad to wear and take photos with. If you’re thinking of matching shirts, agree on the design, gather everyone’s sizes, and put in your order well ahead of the party. Also, remember to designate one or two ladies to stock up on groceries and alcohol for your rental, making sure to allow for any special dietary needs. It’s a good idea to have food for a few meals as well as snacks. Best to have headache medication, one or two board games, and hygiene items on hand, too.

Plan activities, including scheduled downtime.

Though the bachelorette party or weekend is supposed to be a fun and casual affair, things can become stalled if there is no rhyme or reason for the festivities. Know ahead of time where you’ll be going and how you’re going to get there. If eating is involved, make sure you have reservations made or ingredients to prepare something yourself. If you’re heading out of town and don’t want to dine out or cook every meal, be familiar with nearby restaurants that can deliver. If you’d like someone to make a toast, be sure to give them plenty of advanced notice.

A bachelorette party is one of the bride-to-be’s last flings as a singleton, so no pressure with the planning right? Just kidding! A great hen night is all about friends, fun, and making memories. A bit of creativity, organization, and smart planning allows those things to happen organically while leaving some room for the unplanned shenanigans that are sure to pop up!

Where Would We Be Without Professional Wedding Planners?

My team and I talk frequently talk with couples who want to recruit a relative to be their wedding photographer or a friend with a flair for design to handle their flower arrangements.

Generally, our wedding and event venue discourages couples from replacing professional vendors (wedding goods and service providers) with friends and family, but we try to accommodate couples’ wishes.

The situation gets stickier, however, when couples decide to bring in amateur wedding planners, whether it’s someone close to them or a hobbyist who promises to save them money.

What we’ve found, time and time again is professional planners—those who commit to planning weddings as a full-time career—are integral to achieving our primary goal. Working in tandem with them, we’re better able to deliver excellent events that no one will ever forget.

But when we work with part-time or “some time” planners, we often deliver excellent events despite their involvement, not because of it. In those cases, we often wonder if the event couldn’t have been even better if we had been teaming up with a professional.

This is why The Bell Tower on 34th is a fan of Houston’s Association of Wedding Planners (AWP Houston), a professional organization created by wedding planners for wedding planners.

For members, AWP Houston provides networking and collaboration opportunities, education programs designed for business and personal growth, a business listing on the association website, a members-only Facebook group, and social media recognition, among other benefits.

And for engaged couples, the association is a resource that connects them with approved AWP wedding planners.

Experience has shown us that AWP Houston members are true pros: They know and understand the ins and outs of weddings, and it shows.

True Pros Do Their Homework

Professional planners like the members of AWP Houston are consistently successful because they have more to offer than an interest in weddings, experience—or even familiarity with other vendors. They produce superior results because they combine their extensive wedding knowledge and professional relationships with a commitment to helping their clients create the wedding they want. Professional planners are willing to do what it takes to deliver the best possible results, and that includes a desire to help all parties involved perform their parts successfully.

When professionals plan weddings that will take place at The Bell Tower on 34th, they see us as an ally, a partner that can help them achieve a shared goal.

With that in mind, they take the time to read our client agreement and familiarize themselves with the terms their clients will be responsible for, from making payments on time to the process they’ll need to follow if they want to schedule a food tasting. Basically, by carefully reading the client agreement, planners make sure their clients have the information they’ll need to work successfully with our venue.

Professionals Meet Their Deadlines

At The Bell Tower on 34th, we ask also professional planners to work with their clients to ensure the timely delivery of three important wedding components: the timeline, the floor plan, and a list of the participating vendors.

We rely on each of these components. We need them to schedule wait staff—from deciding how many people to line up to telling them when to arrive. We need these documents so we can provision valet parking and security, order supplies, and make numerous arrangements that will influence the success of the event.

Essentially, when we do not receive the information we need on time, we cannot provision properly for the event, which in turn, makes delivering excellence extremely challenging.

What’s more, by letting clients’ commitments to their venue slide and waiting until the last minute to give us vital information, a planner creates difficulties for the wedding vendors as well. If a planner is slow to deliver the wedding’s final timeline, for example, we can’t provide vendors with clear instructions on when they should arrive at our venue and start bringing in equipment. If a wedding is days away, and we still don’t have the seating plan, our staff doesn’t know where to tell a band or disc jockey to set up in the reception area. And, when we can’t communicate with vendors, important details can slip through the cracks.

Clearly, delivering the bride’s choices on a timely basis is an important way for a professional planner to encourage a successful event. (The same principle, by the way, applies to corporate event planners sharing their clients’ preferences.)

We understand that asking a paid client to meet their deadlines and obligations can be a delicate balancing act for service providers. That’s where professional training, experience, and the support of organizations like Houston AWP prove valuable.

Working with professional planners who respect venues’ deadlines and understand how interconnected wedding professionals are is critical. They’re an invaluable part of our ecosystem.

Yes, we have policies and processes in place to ensure excellent events, whether a planner is involved with a wedding or not.

But if we are going to be working with a planner, the ability to team up with a true pro makes all of the difference.

Addressing Wedding Planning Fatigue

While your wedding day will be a time of great joy, the preparations that lead up to it will not necessarily be easy. Wedding planning, at one point or another, tends to create stress. And too much stress, over time, can lead to mental and physical exhaustion: what’s known as wedding planning fatigue or burn-out.

Experiencing wedding planning fatigue is not at all uncommon. Brides magazine recently cited a Zola survey of 500 engaged or newlywed couples: 96% of the respondents acknowledged they were in major freak-out mode. About 40% of the couples said wedding planning was “extremely stressful” while 71% said wedding planning was even more intense than other well-known stressors like job hunting.

For some, wedding planning fatigue stems from high expectations or the challenges of juggling planning with other life challenges and responsibilities. In other cases, fatigue and overwhelming stress are related to bigger and more complex issues.

"It’s a life transition for everyone involved, and with life transitions come identity shifts and a sense of loss of who you were before,” wedding therapist Landis Bejar, LMHC, told Brides. “Meanwhile, all this happens while everyone’s eyes are on you, you’re spending loads of money, and you’re expected to be the happiest you’ve ever been. The culmination of all these circumstances makes wedding planning a pressure cooker for stress, exacerbation of already-strained family dynamics, hurt feelings, and conflict."

While some aggravation is to be expected during wedding planning, it’s important to recognize when the stress seems unending and worse, it is starting to have a negative impact on your well-being. We’ve included some warning signs here, along with some advice for preventing and easing wedding-planning fatigue.

Be on the Lookout for These Signs

How can you tell if your wedding stress is getting out of control? Watch for these red flags.

You’ve developed a “meh” mindset. Wedding planning activities that you expected to enjoy, like looking at dresses, making menu choices, and checking out cakes start to feel like little more than items to check off your to-do list. The joy and enthusiasm just aren’t there. 

You’re putting off important wedding-planning tasks. Maybe putting things off is typical for you. But if it’s not, and you find yourself nudging responsibilities lower and lower on your list, it could be a sign that you’re battling planning fatigue.

You’re feeling sick and tired. Ongoing stress can impact your ability to sleep and fight off illness. It can cause digestive issues, impact your blood pressure, and even can cause physical pain.

You’re struggling to focus. The issues described above, and ongoing stress itself, can leave us irritable and make concentrating difficult.

You don’t trust yourself. At work, you confidently make decisions on a regular basis. But when it comes to making a final decision on invitations, hiring a photographer, or holding a wedding after-party, your self-assurance is nowhere to be found.

Those close to you notice you’ve become a bit…unpleasant. Sometimes, it takes someone else to recognize something is off. “You want your big day to be flawless, but the desire to create a Pinterest-worthy ceremony may lead to obsessive attention to detail and controlling behavior,” Nicole Harris wrote for MarthaStewart.com. “In other words, a stressed-out bride may turn into a bridezilla.”

You’re experiencing panic attacks. Common symptoms include feeling faint, dizzy, or light-headed; feeling very hot or very cold; sweating or trembling.

The stress is spreading its ugly tentacles. If you find other aspects of your life are suffering, from relationships with family and friends to your professional commitments, we recommend taking steps to ease your pressure and exhaustion.

Wondering what you can do? Just like the underlying causes of planning fatigue, the best approaches for preventing it—and minimizing it—will vary from person to person. Here are some possibilities.

Arm Yourself for Success 

Ian Hardy, a Live Band & Wedding Entertainment Expert at Music8 Agency, suggests setting up a foundation of sorts for your planning to help you prioritize tasks, stay on track, and prevent unpleasant surprises.

Start with a detailed budget that includes every cost you can imagine. You can consult with people who’ve already married or do some online research for ideas. Hardy recommends adding a 5% miscellaneous category.

You can help yourself further by establishing a timeline for your planning tasks with breaks built in, particularly during the days leading up to your wedding. Some people find checklists helpful, too, to keep smaller tasks from slipping through the cracks and give themselves a sense of making progress. Consider organizing tasks by priority with headings like “Musts,” “Would Love This,” and “Only if Everything Else is Done.”

Social Media? Tread Carefully

Hardy also urges brides to recognize the danger of comparing their plans to the ideas and completed weddings they find on social media sites like Pinterest. Doing that tends to amplify pressure to create the “perfect wedding.”

“Creating a Pinterest mood board with your style and vision for your wedding is a great idea. It helps you clearly communicate what you have in mind to your vendors,” Hardy wrote. “The problem, however, is that you have to know when to stop. Once you get what you need, stop searching. You will always find something that looks better, and how many times can you change your mind?”

Try to Find Approaches that Work for You

In a blog for Offbeat Bride, Ginny Bartolone wrote that she found detailed planning tasks like creating schedules and lists helped her keep excessive stress at bay. But, she acknowledges, that strategy was a good match for her personality and mindset. Others may find non-planning tasks much more restorative.

“It may sound backwards—planning to avoid planning stress—but for me, I couldn't just throw up my hands, walk away from what needed to be done and call it a day,” Bartolone wrote. “Instead, it helped immensely to simply redirect that planning energy into something that reminded me of the celebration ahead. And setting a schedule of the wedding day itself reinforced the fact that my fiancé and I still had control of how well we took care of ourselves throughout the experience.”

Additional options could be:

-Using stress-busters, from time with your pet (or a borrowed one) to breathing exercises

-You knew this was coming: prioritizing self-care. This can have a huge impact. We get it, when you’re busy, it gets tougher to get enough sleep at least seven hours a night), eat right, drink plenty of water, and exercise. But neglecting these areas only makes you more susceptible to the impacts of stress.

Decisions, Decisions 

Sometimes, Lauren Rodrigue wrote for Wedding Wire, wedding planning fatigue is rooted in the many, many decisions that must be made during the planning process.

“Where should we hold our wedding?” “Buffet dinner or plated?” “Band or DJ?” When you first start planning your wedding, you’ll be doing some rapid-fire decision-making that you might even find fun (especially if you’re Type A!),” Rodrigue wrote. “But as the months roll on, you’ll probably come down with a case of decision fatigue.”

Rodrigue suggests working breaks into your planning process and delegating small tasks to trusted helpers.

Also important, she said, don’t forget that not all wedding decisions will have the same impact. Focus your efforts on a few key things that matter to you, and try not to invest too much mental and emotional energy in others. 

“Of course your wedding decisions are a big deal, and I’m not saying you’re nuts for caring,” she wrote. “But aside from the big ones, most of these decisions you’ll make during planning will turn out to be a lot less noticeable to you and your guests on your big day.”

Working With a Counselor

If you are already struggling with exhaustion or burnout, you don’t have to carry your burden alone.

We strongly encourage you to share what you’re experiencing with your loved ones, including your partner. That can help prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and even more stress.

The people close to you can be a valuable source of support as well, but counseling may be an even better option.

“The best way to address any wedding-related anxiety, as well as prepare for your wedding day, is to meet with a trusted professional, whether it’s a therapist, a member of the clergy, or another source,” clinical psychologist and author Ben Michaelis, Ph.D., told Brides magazine.

“It’s incredibly useful to have a safe place to address your emotions that is separate from your everyday life,” he said. “A close friend can be wonderful, but if you’re expressing any feelings of doubt or concern, those will follow you because your friendship will continue into the future.”

Here are some additional measures that can help you ease wedding-planning fatigue.

Take a break, and do things you enjoy. Spend time with your partner or friends. Give yourself some “you” time for something relaxing, maybe a walk, taking time to lose yourself in a book, or getting a massage.

Give yourself permission to be down. You likely are feeling pressure to be upbeat and excited as you plan your big day, but being engaged doesn’t mean you’re shielded from negative emotions. If an engaged friend told you they were down, anxious, or feeling blah, you wouldn’t berate them; you’d try to express support. Why not extend the same grace to yourself?

Trim decisions and tasks from your list. Marie Kondo is known for encouraging us to declutter by discarding belongings that don’t “spark joy.” Maybe you can take the same approach to your to-dos. If you find that creating unique, theme-based centerpieces for each table at your reception is fun, a challenge you’re enjoying, stick with it. If it’s not, delete it from your list and move on to other things.

Hire a professional wedding planner. If this option is within your budget, you may find it tremendously liberating. That’s not to say you will have eliminated all of your decisions and responsibilities, but you will have a reliable expert sharing the load and providing valuable guidance.  

Feeling stress and fatigue is not everyone’s wedding planning experience, but it absolutely does happen.

You can take steps to keep it to a minimum, but if you experience wedding planning fatigue it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. We encourage you to take these feelings seriously and to address them sooner rather than later.

Eight Event Planning Mistakes

When putting together a company gathering, be it a holiday party, product launch, or special event to mark a major success or honor a valued employee, the details can make or break the soiree. After all, bringing together co-workers who may or may not socialize outside of work can be tricky, so it’s important to make the right decisions at every step of the planning.

Read on for a list of potential planning pitfalls and how to avoid them.

Not Researching Your Event Date

Sometimes you have no choice about your event date. It may tie in with an anniversary, for example, or be the only day a speaker is available. But, whenever possible, we suggest taking measures to prevent a scheduling conflict with other events in your community or area of interest. You don’t want to lose potential attendees. Check event calendars and industry news updates to see if something else is planned on the date(s) you’re considering. We also suggest avoiding major holidays and holiday weekends, when people may have personal obligations.

Not properly vetting the venue

Where you host your event should be one of your top priorities. Make sure the venue you’re considering, catering services, size, look, cost, and list of amenities fit your needs and/or theme or purpose of the party. You’ll also want to be sure you have the details in writing and have carefully discussed and considered what the venue has to offer before you book. Pro tip: Look for a staging area if you’re hiring a band and try to avoid places with stairs if you have an older workforce. Also, make sure the restroom facilities are top-notch.

Not delegating responsibilities

Event planning, particularly for a corporate function, should be a team effort. If you’re the ringleader, be sure to assign specific tasks to each of your helpers and give them a deadline to get it done. Be available to help and offer alternatives if their plans fall through, and don’t neglect your own to-do list. Better yet, if your company has the budget, hire a corporate event planner and work closely with them.

Not having enough food

Do we even have to mention this? It should go without saying that no one should go hungry at your event. Can you say morale buster? Get an accurate headcount and then prepare a little bit extra. Also, when choosing your caterer, look for a company that’s experienced in your type of event and can accommodate a number of different tastes. Be sure to survey the attendees beforehand about any special dietary needs, and see if the menu includes at least a few vegetarian options as well as dairy- and gluten-free dishes. Pro Tip: If possible, offer to provide advertising for your caterer or promote them on social media in exchange for a discount.

Not limiting the free drink service

Of course, a cocktail hour may be part of the fun of the event, but getting drunk in front of your boss and coworkers is poor form. You can help your attendees avoid that scenario by limiting drinks. Tickets for one to three spirits on the house would be a nice touch, and it also discourages drunkenness when people have to pony up for additional drinks.

Not having a set agenda

We’re sure you want your employees to enjoy your special event, but if the time spent is too loosely structured you may end up with more of a party setting instead of achieving what you set out to do. Have a timeframe for different elements of the event and stick to it. Designate someone who will announce what’s happening and direct employees’ attention to the order of events to keep the flow moving.

NOT PLANNING entertainment or background music

Though this might not apply to every corporate event, it will for many, particularly holiday parties, honoree events, company milestone celebrations, or any occasion where you aim to keep things light and social. From a live band to a sophisticated string quartet to a harpist or solo guitarist, the music should reflect the spirit of the event. Ask around about talented local ensembles and artists and discuss your musical expectations beforehand.

Not having a backup plan

Inebriated attendee? Better have transportation options like Uber or Lyft on speed dial. Your guest speaker canceled at the last minute? Have an activity in your back pocket your guests can enjoy instead. You get the idea. Though you certainly can’t plan for everything that could possibly go wrong, being prepared to deal with common issues will keep you ahead of the game and your event going strong.

How to Rock Your Role as Mother of the Bride

As the mother of the bride, you have an important part in the planning and execution of your daughter’s special day. Naturally, you really want it all to go right. As you embark on this most significant of journeys, it’s important to remember that, even though you’re not the star of the show, you are certainly playing a crucial supporting role. And that, if we’re being honest, makes your task all the more tricky.

Weddings, with their endless instances of stress-inducing decisions, are notorious for bringing up anxieties and annoyances between the players. Here is where you can shine! You have an opportunity to smooth out differences, offer experience-based advice, a calming touch, and even a bit of fun to the planning, making for a seamless wedding-day experience for the bride and groom. Here are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind.

Note: As the mother of the bride, you may be pitching in with the cost of the wedding or footing the bill completely, and these suggestions are made with your potential financial contributions in mind.

Do establish open communication with your daughter.

Once the engagement is established, sit down with the soon-to-be newlyweds and talk about how much of a role you’d like to play and what they want/expect from you. Setting clear expectations and boundaries should prevent many conflicts down the road.

Don’t impose your style on the bride.

Chances are your daughter has colors, flowers, and dress styles in mind. She may have her heart set on a specific venue or wedding theme. Even if none of her choices suit your taste, as long as they fit into the overall budget, your wishes should not override hers when it comes to how she wants her wedding to look and feel.

Do offer your opinion if asked.

If your daughter asks your opinion on any of her choices, give it freely and truthfully, but let her know you support whatever decision she makes.

Don’t let others push your daughter and her fiancé into making plans that don’t fit their needs, wants, or budget.

People have lots of ideas about what makes for the perfect wedding, but unless they’re the ones walking down the aisle, providing professional services, or writing the checks, what they have to say doesn’t matter much. Make sure your daughter knows you’re there to help her to stick to her guns and make sure to offer a supporting hand when it comes to asking others to take a step back.

Do allow for others’ opinions to be floated if your daughter is seeking them.

As the mother of the bride, you may see yourself as the gatekeeper of would-be-advice-givers, but if she’s seeking out help, particularly from those in the wedding industry, consider taking a step back and listening to what they have to say. Afterward, you can serve as a sounding board or counselor to steer her decisions in her best interests.

Don’t take over the guest list.

Sure, you’re eager to invite some of your nearest and dearest to witness the wedding of your child, but any guest decisions must be made in accordance with the betrothed couple’s wishes at the forefront. That means close family from both sides and the couple’s good friends come first.

Do consult with your daughter before you purchase your dress.

As you hope she’ll include you in the fun of choosing her wedding dress, ask for her opinion of what you should wear. Have her give her opinion on the fit and style of the dress as well as how it fits in with the vibe she’s going for. With so many options to choose from, it’s likely you’ll land on something you both love, although the final decision is yours.

But don’t aim to overshadow the bride.

Although it’s hard to upstage a bride in her wedding dress, keep in mind that you are not the star of the show and what you wear should reflect that. Of course, steer clear of white or ivory and instead choose a color that flatters you and suits the occasion. Think subtle and elegant. You can and should be one of the best dressed there, but avoid an attention-getting gown and let your daughter shine.

Do Share Family Heirlooms

If your daughter is interested in the tradition of having “something old” and “something borrowed” with her on her wedding day, help her find items with special meaning. They might include a pair of gorgeous earrings or the veil you wore on your wedding day, a family love letter or the recipe for a beloved family dish.

Do help to smooth ruffled feathers where you can.

Unfortunately, hurt feelings and misunderstandings are often par for the course of wedding planning. As the mother of the bride, you have the opportunity to help defuse those situations or even prevent them by setting a supportive example for the bride and groom. If a sticky situation does arise, ask your daughter if you can help by intervening in spots where you can make a difference rather than leaving all the mitigation to her. It’s likely unruly groomsmen and catty bridesmaids will take direction from a mother figure and you’ll spare your daughter the headache of dealing with them.

Don’t create issues with the groom’s mother.

Instead, recruit her as your partner in crime, so to speak. She’ll appreciate the thought, and you’ll head off any lingering tensions at the pass.

Do plan your toast in advance.

Mothers of the bride don’t always make a speech at their daughter’s wedding, but it’s not unheard of. If you’re planning on it, take time to reflect on what you want to express, put it down on paper, and practice it a few times before your wedding-day delivery.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

When it comes to throwing a beautiful wedding, there’s no shortage of ways it can come together. In that spirit, don’t argue with your daughter on small things that, while they may make your cringe or you feel are unnecessary, bring an element of uniqueness to the event or simply make her happy. If it’s not going to adversely affect the overall look and feel of the wedding, put it out of your mind and don’t let it stress you needlessly.

Do join in on the wedding-day bridal suite fun.

After so many months of planning, putting out fires, and lending the all-important supportive and sympathetic shoulder to your daughter, try to relax and enjoy a day of pampering with your best girl and her squad. Have some wine (but not too much!), let the bridesmaids include you in fun pics, slip on your beautiful dress and enjoy the rest of the day!

Watching your daughter walk down the aisle to begin her married life can be a wonderful moment as a mother. Bonding with her over the wedding planning process can mean memories you’ll cherish for a lifetime. With that in mind, approach your mother-of-the-bride role with grace, wisdom, patience, and love. Your daughter will thank you for it!

Why We Insist on a Single Point of Contact for Every Event

Working as a team is not at all uncommon when you’re planning a major event, whether it’s your wedding or your company’s big product launch. And, generally, this is a good strategy: Collaborating with others, from expert planners to friends and family, can help minimize stress, inspire creative ideas, and in many cases, enhance your end results.

That said, we do have one important caveat when it comes to events that will take place at our venue. We only accept orders, information, and updates from one person. One decision-maker. A single-point-of-contact.

This rule is one of our most important policies, and it’s something The Bell Tower on 34th spells out in each client’s contract.

The practice of maintaining a single point of contact is not unusual. A number of businesses do this to enhance efficiency. A single point of contact helps prevent wasted time, and it enhances collaboration: Teams that get their information from one source can plan, delegate, and manage tasks more efficiently. They’re also more likely to communicate effectively and prevent details from slipping through the cracks.

Without maintaining a single point of contact, we would not be able to achieve our primary objective: delivering excellent events that no one will ever forget. The saying, “too many cooks spoil the broth” is grounded in truth. If we were to accept directives from multiple parties, we’d have a recipe for disaster.

It’s impossible to deliver excellence without clear, consistent communication, and that just isn’t going to happen when more than one person is making decisions and relaying information. The waters get muddied. Orders and announcements contradict each other. And staff members, instead of working to fulfill the client’s vision, find themselves scrambling to prevent chaos.

Our venue has made a point of preventing scenarios like that. When it comes to weddings, only one person makes financial decisions, provides us with headcounts, selects bar and menu packages, and submits their seating plan and timeline. As a result, our team members know the information they receive—and rely upon to requisition goods, schedule staff, and set up rooms—is reliable.

In the case of weddings, our contact usually is the bride. If she wants to relinquish venue-related decisions to someone else, possibly her professional wedding planner, she’ll need to provide a signed document stating the planner is now our official point of contact. Then, the bride will have to accept all planning and financial decisions the planner relays to us. (Though, the bride can rescind the planner’s status if she’s not satisfied with the arrangement.)

“Agency,” appointing another person to act on your behalf for a specified purpose, is a basic element of legal transactions and business relationships. Offering this option has created a win-win for our customers and for us. Clients can delegate decision-making if they want to, and we retain our ability to effectively deliver on our promises.

 The same is true with the other types of events held here, from proms to corporate celebrations. We regularly welcome committees who are researching prospective venues and want to tour The Bell Tower on 34th. But our interactions with a committee stop there. If they select our venue for their event, they’re asked to select a contact to work with us. That person might be a school principal, a corporate executive, or a trusted representative.

The contact is not necessarily the person responsible for paying us; it’s the person with the authority to make venue-related decisions. They will be the only person with authority to sign—and update—an agreement with The Bell Tower.

 And, as is the case with weddings, our policy protects clients, allows us to prevent conflicting directives, and frees us to do our job effectively.

We hold our single-point-of-contact policy in high regard. I think it’s fair to say it has been integral to our success as a business.

Selecting a Wedding Officiant

One of the most important items on your to-do list, when you’re planning a wedding, is selecting your officiant: the person who conducts your ceremony.

This is the person who, depending on what you’re looking for, can help you prepare to make a lifetime commitment to one another. They can be an invaluable source of guidance and support—and they’ll set the tone for the most important element of your wedding—becoming a married couple.

To help you with the selection process, we’ve put together a list of commonly asked questions about selecting an officiant and our answers.

What is an officiant?

A wedding officiant, also known as a celebrant, is someone who can legally conduct a marriage ceremony. It can be your pastor, a justice of the peace, or your best friend.

What are our ceremony options? 

From a big-picture perspective, you can look for an officiant who can conduct a religious ceremony, a secular event, or an interfaith wedding.

You also may want to ask yourselves, if you do want a religious ceremony, if you prefer for it to be traditional or if you’d like to make a few adjustments. And some couples might want help creating a wedding they consider spiritual, but not religious.

Where can we find officiants?

If you don’t have someone specific in mind to conduct your ceremony, try asking married friends and family members if they have recommendations. You also can consult with your venue, your wedding vendors, and your place of worship.

Another option is to use online resources. Here are a few possibilities:

Celebrant Foundation & Institute

The Celebrant Directory

Thumbtack

Wedding Officiants

How can we research the officiants we’re considering?

 We encourage you to ask your prospective officiants for references and, if possible, check online reviews from other couples. The officiant also should provide proof that they meet all local and state requirements for conducting a wedding.

Once you’ve narrowed down your choices, see if the officiants can provide videos of them conducting marriage ceremonies. Do they seem confident? Are you comfortable with their style and their abilities as a speaker?

In the end, one of the best ways to make a final choice is to interview your final candidates. That will help you get a feel for each other and determine if the officiant is a good fit for the wedding ceremony you want.

Some possible questions to ask include:

Do you have any restrictions we should know about?

Do you offer/require pre-wedding counseling or classes?

Can we read your ceremony script? Will you let us make any changes?

How do you feel about couples writing their own vows?

Are there any songs or readings you include in your ceremonies?

How long, on average, are your ceremonies?

Tell us about one of your favorite ceremonies.

Tell us about one of your least favorite ceremonies.

How much should we expect to pay?

In the U.S., the average cost for officiating services is $300, according to WeddingWire. 

Religious officiants may not have a set fee, but generally, you should plan to make a donation of $100-$300.

Keep in mind, not only are you paying someone to help you exchange vows, but also for their preparations—ideally they’ll get to know you and be able to conduct a ceremony that is meaningful to you and your partner. What’s more, they will most likely participate in, and even run, your wedding rehearsal.

You also are paying for your officiant’s travel expenses and for the officiant to make sure your marriage license is properly completed, signed, and submitted.

What if we want a friend to conduct the ceremony?

Increasing numbers of people are asking friends or family members to marry them. Some find the idea of being married by someone close to them comforting; others feel it will make their ceremony more meaningful.

Keep in mind, a friend or family member will add emotional impact to your ceremony—but their lack of officiating experience may be evident, too.

If you want to go this route, we encourage you to go beyond asking if they’re willing to conduct your ceremony.

Consider asking:

-If they anticipate any scheduling conflicts or something that could come up to force them to cancel at the last minute.

-If they feel comfortable speaking in front of crowds, including other close friends and family members.

-If you can cover their costs to become an officiant.

If they don’t feel comfortable accepting your invitation, accept their decision gracefully. It’s a serious commitment.

If they say yes, and they need to get ordained to conduct wedding ceremonies, there are a number of sites where they can get ordained, including: 

American Fellowship Church

Universal Life Church

Universal Ministries

When do we need to make a final decision?

Try to have your officiant lined up at least seven months before your wedding.

What can we do to ensure a positive experience?

Make time for you and your officiant to get to know each other.

While the number of conversations you have is not set in stone, it is important to clearly communicate your hopes for the ceremony. And, to help your officiant get to know you, we recommend sharing stories about how you met and fell in love.

Ultimately, you and your partner should both feel comfortable with the person who conducts your ceremony. You want someone focused on creating the experience you want, someone who’s in your corner. We hope these answers help you find that person.

The Bell Tower on 34th is one of the leading modern wedding venues in Houston and the surrounding area.

Contact us to learn how our venue and staff can help you create an unforgettable event.